All Or Nothing

Embarrassment

I think that in honor of Adam's recent post and Graham's recent mystery story (that is is so cruelly keeping from everyone - well, at least from me) that I will open this blog to the most embarrassing stories we all have in regards to encounters with the opposite sex. Being the types of people who sit around and blog all the time, we all have to admit to some loser-ish qualities so I'm sure we've all got some fabulously awful stories. Let's see who has the best. Maybe we can even vote on them in the end. I'll even get the ball rolling!

The very first time I went to my ex-boyfriend's house in Garland to meet his parents (a relatively big deal, as we all know) we all ate dinner together. I was pretty nervous, wanting to make a good impression, but not wanting to try too hard and all that good stuff. Apparently, my digestive system felt like the best course of action to take that evening was to cause me to choke. On my cornbread. Which, as we all know, is very choke-able, because it's so dry. I must have done that whole cough-then-try-to-talk-too-soon-and-no-sound-comes-out-and-you-go-into-another-coughing-fit thing about five times. No lie. Then, when they were all asking me if I was ok for the millionth time, after the millionth coughing fit and millionth glass of water, I cooly replied "Oh yeah, I'm fine, that happens all the time to me". Cool, Elise. How does that salvage anything, telling your boyfriend's parents that you have chronic swallowing deficiencies? Anyway, it was not the dinner experience I had been hoping for, to say the least. Now, let me hear what has happened to YOU.

Friends

Sometimes, when things are all looking down, something happens (or even doesn't happen) and they all start looking up again. It might be hard to explain, because it might be something so elusive as a change in the weather, or a movie you hadn't yet seen but were always planning to - It could be some books you've always dearly loved and yet never owned - It could be a trip imagined and yet never actually taken. Any way it goes, good friends are hard to find and their value is inestimable.

"A friend loves at all times..." Proverbs 17:17

Thanks.

Cali Forni Huh?

Goodbye, and good luck to all of you. I'll be sure to let you know how California fares, and on a final, closing note to my Tech tyrade, (I think they topped themselves):

They dropped me, AGAIN, for no reason, AGAIN, from my classes on Wednesday.

AND

They sold me a book, from the Texas Tech Extended Studies Bookstore, that has chapters 5-11 missing. Yes indeed, the page numbers go 81, 82, 83, 236, 237.....Wow. The ridiculousness of that, I feel, cannot be outdone. And with that, I will leave you.

Winner Winner

Jeff T wins. He was the first to correctly guess the riddle. I feel that he might be a genius in our midst, a diamond in the rough, if you will.

Also, for any of you who were wondering what happened with the Red Baron pizza ordeal, Amy and I did, indeed, eat the entire pizza, and nothing bad happened to either of us. At least not yet.

And last but not least, there are about a million Radiohead tickets circulating out there for their show at the Hollywood Bowl tomorrow night. And I'm going to be in California. Tempting, is it not?

Product In Question

I feel that as a consumer, every time I go to the store to buy a product, I am entering into an unspoken contractual agreement with the producer of said product. Inherent in this agreement is the understanding that the product I receive will be worthy of the money I spent. Otherwise, the producer has the obligation to either replace the product, or return my money.

Now that the specifics are out of the way, I would like to state that I do not, in any way, feel that Wal Mart kept its end of that agreement today. Perhaps I am being too hard on Wal Mart, and the blame, instead, should be placed squarely on the shoulders of the Red Baron. The product in question is one Red Baron hamburger pizza, purchased in good faith by myself and my roomate, at Wal Mart, this very evening. The problem at hand is that the pizza looks as if someone very large has taken a big bite out of the crust. And, as if the fact that some breed of giant, or someone with Elephantiasis of the jaw, has been gnawing on our pizza is not disturbing in and of itself, there is also a relatively large, blackish-brownish area in the crust where it looks suspiciously as if some sort of large bug accidentally made its way into the pizza dough.

Now you tell me: Did we get our money's worth? Was this unspoken contract upheld on both sides? Should we have thrown the pizza out, eaten it, or sent it to a lab to be tested for sick and gross things? Because I'll tell you - the results of what we actually did are still pending.

The Villa

First and foremost, I would like to thank all of you very kindly for giving me all sorts of insight and thoughtful answers to my recent question....They are all greatly appreciated. Especially I appreciate people who comment, re-read what they wrote, and then comment again on how awesome they are :) Now there's a direct assault against false modesty! And I'm all for it.


Secondly, I would like to inform you all that today I went to Taco Villa. Now this might sound pretty innocent, or perhaps you think I'm going to rehash the problems of the spelling-challenged clerks, but let me assure you that neither of these presumptions would be true. Instead, this is what happened:

I ordered my food, and no drink, but when I got up to the paying window, I decided that I would really enjoy an iced tea. So, me being the problem-solver that I am, I ordered one. Well, everything was going just fine on my drive from the window to the exit of the parking lot, but after that things got pretty iffy.

My first mistake was trying to turn left onto 19th at 6:00, which obviously wasn't going to work. My next mistake was getting annoyed and making a sudden right out of the parking lot, at which point my much-anticipated iced tea promptly spilled all over my lap, all over my seat, and even mangaged to totally fill up both of my cup holders with ice and tea. Iced tea is one of those aptly named drinks.

Well, as I am scrambling, trying to shift into second gear and turn the cup right side up and not run into anyone or anything and avoid sudden frostbite from ice all over me, I notice that handily enough, there is a cop right behind me. And, I can see that he is getting a little too concerned for his own good about what sort of driver I might be. So, I have to pretend that I'm not freezing, pretend that tea is not dripping into the inner-workings of my gear shifter and parking brake, and pretend like the tea is not STILL spilling all over my leg. And foot.

Mercifully, I get to turn right and get away from the cop before he does anything. Well, not so mercifully for my foot, which the cup of tea had by then fallen on, but mercifully for my driving record. Unless my foot wants to get a job and pay for the tickets I acrue for saving it from the tea, then it can just suffer down there, that's what I say. And that's what I told it, too.

Well, I decided that since I had such a narrow and triumphant escape from the cop, that I had better celebrate by eating one of my tacos. While still driving. Yes, my brilliance even astounds me sometimes. So, the eating-a-taco-while-driving plan worked out very poorly. I got hot sauce all over my t-shirt. Which, of course, was white.

Once I got home, got my car somewhat cleaned out, and got the stains out of my shirt, I sat down to eat my other taco in peace. I even made sure that I got a real plate and everything, so that I wouldn't drip anything on myself. But alas, the Villa outsmarted me again, once and for all, because just as I was counting myself the victor, I opened a little package of hot sauce, and it maliciously sprayed itself all over my just-scrubbed, still-wet shirt. Stupid Taco Villa.

Logic...huh.

Do you ever get the feeling that everything would be so much simpler if you could only just control/ignore all of your feelings and behave totally and completely rationally all the time? What are your takes on the whole feelings vs. logic controversy? I know you can't just always go with your feelings, but then it seems that you can't always just ignore them, either. How much credence can you give to what you feel is right? And I'm not talking black and white scriptural issues, either. I know what to do then :)

Today:

Today:

Wake up and go to church

Come home, make some lunch, and eat it

Lay on the futon, debating whether I should go to Barnes and Noble and buy a book or just fall asleep

Remember that I have a lot of homework and reading that I ought to do

Suddenly feel so tired and lazy that I can't possibly make myself go to all the effort to find my articles on e-reserve and decide to fall asleep for sure

Have the epiphany to watch Robin Hood and The Sword in the Stone (the Disney versions)

Find a sudden burst of energy and go to three different movie stores to find these fabulous films

Come back home, watch Robin Hood, and remember how awesome that movie really is

Fall asleep on the futon (ahh, finally)

Wake up from the best dream ever because my roomate is banging on the door

Watch The Sword in the Stone and laugh a lot (especially at the squirrel part)

Now I'm sitting here watching my roomate draw a green-marker mustache on her boyfriend's face as they discuss how to best determine whether or not a bug is crawling on your leg or if you're just imagining it.


I think I'm done for the day.

Well, I have a confession.

Well, I have a confession. I accidentally on purpose went back to California some more. And I just got back today. That place has quite a draw for me.....probably for more than one reason :)

anyway.... let me tell you the best thing to do in the whole entire world.

Either wake up at about 5am, or just stay up all night until that time....whichever works best for you. Then, drive out to Malibu. Make sure that you leave right around 5:15am. so that while you are driving through the hills, all the mist and fog is still really heavy and it's just like driving through clouds with that pre-dawn light shining through. While you're driving, make sure to take notice of the fact that there is hardly anyone else out (quite a novelty in LA), and also make sure to roll down all the windows so that you can breathe in the crisp, fresh air blowing straight off the morning ocean water. Next, find a secluded little cove, pull in, park, and go walk on the beach. Bring a blanket and a sweatshirt. Discover that your secluded cove has a perfect raised hill of sand to put your blanket down on, lay down, and watch the tide come in. Listen to the waves crash over each other and watch seagulls chase one another, just skimming the tips of the waves. Notice that the fog hangs just low enough to shroud everything but the ocean in a kind of dream-like tint. When you decide to leave (and believe me, it's hard, even when you have a plane to catch), watch the mist lift off of the hills, and just as you come around a turn, watch the sunrise.

That's the best thing to do. Numero uno, there it is. :)

oooh, I am pissed off.

oooh, I am pissed off. Tech loves to screw people over. It's so aggravating, because state schools have the unique situation where they are able to make whatever decisions they feel like, whenever they feel like making them, just because the number of students it will affect will never be enough to make a difference. One pissed off student isn't going to change anything. Here is a copy of a letter (with all incriminating details left out) I just had to send, so you can see where the annoyance is coming from.


Dear ****(and no, that isn't to replace a bad word :)),

My name is Elise Foreman and I am an English minor. I am a senior with over 100 hours currently, and I am supposed to graduate in December 2003. However, I have encountered a major problem that I really need the English department's help with.

I made a **** on my SAT as a senior in high school and was therefore exempt from ENGL 1301 at my first university (Dallas Baptist). When I transferred to Texas Tech as a junior, I had the understanding that my exemption and credit would transfer as well. As soon as I found out (by looking at my transcript, not because anyone told me) that the ENGL 1301 credit did not transfer, I set out to get that credit. I met with my advisor, who told me that the exemption did not transfer but that I could take a CLEP test to take care of the class. I signed up for a test date at the beginning of the summer, for ENGL 1301, and when I came back from Tyler to take the test, I was informed that in an "overnight decision" the ENGL 1301 CLEP test is no longer going to be offered at Tech. That also means that I cannot take the one other CLEP test that I needed to take, which is for a sophomore level credit in English, because I have to have both 1301 and 1302 completed before I can take it.

****, I'm sure you can understand the problem I am facing. I have made either the dean's or the president's lists my last three semesters here at Tech. I made a **** on my SAT. I have taken the LSAT, because when I graduate I am going to law school, and I scored a ***, which is in the **th percentile, with a ***** score on the reading comprehension section. I cannot begin to understand why Texas Tech would not allow me to take a test that I was already registered to take, because of someone's "overnight decision". This is unfair. The CLEP office said that if I got express permission from the English department, then they would be able to administer the tests. I feel that it is imperative that the English department give this permission so that I can take the tests I was already registered to take, get the credits that I should already have, and be able to graduate on time in December.

I have left you a phone message, and if you could please call me back as soon as possible I would greatly appreciate it. I would also be more than happy to come in and talk with you in person, or meet with anyone else there who needs to hear about this situation. Feel free to forward this email to anyone else whom this might concern. I appreciate your time and your help.

Sincerely,
Elise Foreman


if any of you have some suggestions of something else I can do to fix this situation, let me know. Because right now, I think I'm about to drop out of school and move to Costa Rica and never ever think about Texas Tech again.