All Or Nothing

I AM Productive

So, I'm sick.  I know, I know, it's SO unoriginal, getting sick in February, right when everyone ELSE gets sick.  Trust me, I tried my very best to avoid it, just so that I would still look cool.  Unfortunately, all my tactics failed and so here I am, laying in bed, playing online LOST trivia nonstop.  Hence the nod to productivity up there.  I've got like, 14000 points!  I'm a LOST Savant!  Speaking of, what is up with some of the questions on that trivia game?  What color was the third stripe on the fourth car to pass Jack in his flashback in the second episode of season two?  I mean, I know the answer's green, but really.  Is it imperative to the plot? 

Probably.  LOST is so confusing.

Anyway, as scintillating as all that was, I wasn't just logging on to tell you how I'm sick (boring) or all about LOST trivia (productive!).  Rather, I wanted to let everyone know that tomorrow is Blog Share day (as conceived and put together by the fabulous -R-) and so I will be posting anonymously on someone else's blog while someone else (do you see where this is going?) will be posting anonymously right here.  So, if you're out and about on the interwebs tomorrow and happen to stop by this site, you'll be reading Anon Poster!  Leave the AP comments if you like!  Give AP accolades and praises!  Or, if you REALLY want to stir things up, ask AP some LOST trivia questions.  I'd be willing to place a wager that AP wouldn't know the answer to that stripe question.

They Need To Pretend That The Backyard Is A Pharmacy And Prescribe Pablo Some Lithium

First of all, let me inform you all that I am now very well aware that PABLO (not Pedro, duh) is, in fact, a penguin.  I have also discovered that Pablo has absolutely no affiliation whatsoever with the Wiggles, and is instead one of the infamous Backyardigans.  Yes indeed, the big purplish-blue bird is an official member of this gang of unlikely animal friends, which includes a moose, a hippo, a kangaroo, and some sort of girl creature covered in pink polka dots.  I believe the polka-dotted one is named "Uniqua", and she kind of looks like an ant.  Or maybe an alien.  Pablo appears to be the leader of this motley crew, taking them on various adventures that all require a complete departure from reality in order to believe that the common backyard they all share is instead, say, a pirate's ship.  Or a jungle.  Or, you know.  The Nile River.

Anyway, it all seems fine, pretending that your backyard has turned into a surf camp or whatever, until Pablo starts TOTALLY FREAKING OUT.  He does this in nearly every episode, succumbing to some sort of major panic attack, which subsequently causes the other animals, namely the moose who is, I think, Pablo's best friend, to have to stop EVERYTHING they are doing in order to calm Pablo back down.  One time when I was watching, Pablo's bi-polarism reached such a high that even the moose got sucked into the manic episode, and started freaking out as well, forcing the kangaroo to intercede and restore calmness and order.  Normally the pink girl and that other hippo creature only superficially try and help diffuse these tense situations, and quickly resort to bossing each other around, completely ignoring Pablo who almost certainly needs to be on some sort of meds.

My take on the Backyardigans is this: I think the moose, who is supposed to be best friends with Pablo, is getting fed up with things.  He is pretty much ignored and devalued, because has-to-be-the-center-of-attention Pablo monopolizes the group.  I anticipate an episode in the near future where Pablo starts his typical melt-down and the moose discretely snaps his fingers at some orderlies waiting in the background with a straitjacket.  The kangaroo, oblivious as always, sings a song about being kind or something, and, while the pink thing and the hippo are distracted, the moose and orderlies shove Pablo into the back of a white van.  As the van pulls away, the moose locks eyes with Pablo, who is silently shaking his head and staring in disbelief from the rear window.  The moose flips Pablo the bird, and then trudges off to sit on the porch steps, crying silent moose tears and wondering how, exactly, it came to this.

Give It To Me

If someone comments in the affirmative in the next 5 minutes, I'm going to take it as a sign that I SHOULD, actually, leave my house at 10:25pm, drive to the movie rental, and rent the next two discs of LOST.

At 10:25pm.  On a Monday night.  When I have to work the rest of the week.

Ok, fate, do your worst.

LOST - And Then The Ominous "Boom" Noise

Yeah, so what.  I started watching Lost, after all this time. 

Yes, I know, you told me it was great, you told me it was addicting, and now you've told me that it totally sucks and is largely plotless and extremely infuriating.  And yet?

I watch.

I began Season One last week.  As expected, I could not control myself and watched all eight episodes I rented in one sitting.  I haven't rented the last two discs of Season One yet, because I haven't had a spare 8-10 hours come up as available, and the idea of me just sitting down to watch one or two at a time is laughable.  I wish I was one of those normal people, you know, the types who can moderate. 

Anyway, I'm not even writing to talk about Lost, and its crystal meth-like appeal.  I only brought it up to show you this:

Looks innocent enough, right?  It's the street you drive down to get to our house.  Nice, serene, leafy....you know, nothing to be afraid of.  Right?

WRONG.  This, my friends, is a wild boar.  A black, wiry, evil-looking, tusky, toothy HOG, circa Lost.

Aka THEY WILL KILL YOU SO YOU'D BEST NOT BE MESSIN' WITH 'EM.

Look!  I ran up beside his carcass and placed a beer can by his head, just so that you could estimate the scariness of his massive size!  I risked my life in doing so.  I hope you're impressed.

Let me tell you how excited I am to discover that this boar, this wild, feral animal, is not an anomaly.  No, no, there are hundreds of these guys, running around and wreaking their boarish havoc in the woods DIRECTLY BEHIND my house.  Well, as long as "directly behind" can mean anything from "relatively near" to "a mile or two away from".  Anyway, if you do watch Lost, you'll remember several scenes featuring the wild boar prominently, scenes that focused on the boar's size, strength, meanness, and KILLER TENDENCIES.  Also, on the fact that boars are apparently good eatin'.  But that's neither here nor there for me, as I do not own a bow and arrow nor a net-trap, nor do I have any inclination whatsoever to hunt and eat from my own backyard.  I wonder where Darwin would put me on his list.

Luckily, I found this site, and my worries have been assuaged.  Anyone who includes the phrases "ARE WILD HOGS DESTROYING YOUR PROPERTY or your CROPS?!  20+ YEARS experience in HOG REMOVAL.  I'll kill'em for FREE!" and "I KNOW HOW TO DO IT SAFELY with RESPECT to the LAND OWNER and PROPERTY!  You provide the land & hogs, I provide the skills and tools to get rid of'em" is a good person to have around in my book. 

And look!  He's from East Texas.  I bet I'll see him at the Wal-Mart real soon.

Much Love To The ATL

I got the email!  Now we just have to wait and see how I feel about my inbox breaching the 189.  I'll let you know.

Oh, things are exciting around here!

In other news, tonight is the finale of Project Runway.  Because I am completely obsessed with this show and would like to take it out for drinks, cover it in kisses, and rub it's foot under the table (with my shoe off!  oooh!), I will allow this post to be about nothing else.

Yes, it is an unsubstantial post about Project Runway.  So what?  The show is genius.  The drama isn't TOO dramatic, the producers really seem to make human, intelligent decisions, and the designers are exceptionally talented. 

So who's it gonna be?  Laura,  Jeffrey,  Uli, or Michael?

Who do you think is going to win?