I get email on my phone now, and maybe that's the problem. The easy access, the siren call of the flashing red light, the immediate notification - I was drawn in to the cycle without even realizing it. I don't even have to get online anymore to check Facebook, that amazing time-suck of a social media site. Yeah, that's right....my phone lets me know of any relevant changes or postings on there as well. This burgundy piece of equipment is singlehandedly destroying my relationship with the World Wide Web.
Or is that just an excuse? Is it easier for me to blame the demise of my long-term love affair with all things Internet on this sexy little newcomer in my life? Or does it run deeper than that? Perhaps it was inevitable - all good things must come to an end, or so they say. I don't know if it's similar to the New Car Phenomenon, where you decide you MIGHT be in the market for a new vehicle and then suddenly you seem surrounded, INUNDATED, by new car ads, specials, promotions, enticements...but the few times I have gotten online lately and clicked through to some of my favorite blogs, I have been met with goodbye messages. So it's not just me, I tell myself. See, other people are having this issue as well.
What is it with blogging lately? I'm just not satisfied anymore. I don't need you like I used to, blogging. It's not you, it's me. Or is it?
Maybe it's that many of the top bloggers out there, the ones I read all those years ago and made this whole endeavor seem so appealing, have turned "corporate" - they write for the money, whether that be product placement posts or merely for the increase in traffic that fuels their ad revenue. And something about that just hits me as SO disingenuous. Not that I am against the free market or capitalism or making money with your talents - because I'm all about it. But mainly because what drew me into blogging in the first place was the rawness of the expression, the naked openness of saying "this is my story, and I want you to know it". And that theme gets lost rather quickly in all the recipe contests and giveaways and corporate sponsorship of 3-year old birthday parties that I feel like I read about more than anything these days. As such, I haven't even OPENED my feed reader in probably three weeks. If I am online with an itch to read blogs, I click through my page to about 4 or 5 different sites, and (imagine this) NONE of them are sponsored by anyone or anything. In fact, most of then net less than 10 comments per post and seem to be genuinely unconcerned by that fact. It's refreshing.
So what to do? I don't really want to stop writing. I like writing; like the stringing of words together to create coherent thoughts and occasionally funny anecdotes that I would otherwise probably forget. I enjoy the catharsis of putting swirling emotions in order and organizing them in written form on a page, and then hitting publish and feeling like the whole situation has been solved. I'm not giving that up. But what I AM giving up is the pressure to keep up with the Joneses, so to speak. I'm not going to host recipe contests, or jump around seventeen different social media sites and seventeen HUNDRED blogs just trying to up my traffic or stats. If I don't post for a week or a month, I'm not going to concern myself with what my readership is doing, or if they're going elsewhere for their fix. Let's be honest, I obviously haven't concerned myself with that last issue much in the first place, since my last Project Runway recap has been up for over a month at this point.
And you know what? It's not because I don't love having people who read my blog, and even less because I don't love the individual people who read my blog, because guess what? I DO love you guys. I know many of you in real life already, and I have gotten the chance to meet a couple of you that I otherwise knew exclusively online, and there are many of you who (and you know this) I am DYING to meet. Much like my store, which gives me no end of grief on a regular basis, my favorite part of blogging has got to be the friends I have made through doing it. And so there's another reason to continue, because I'll never believe that I've met all the amazing people there are to meet in this world.
So what's my point, you ask? Well, maybe there isn't one. Maybe this is one of those cathartic posts, and now that I've expressed to blogging how I'm falling out of love with it, we can get back on track. Or maybe blogging has changed, and we do need to break up. But since I'm still writing, and you're still reading, it looks like we're still on. Maybe all I wanted to say is that 2008 has been one of the weirdest years of my life; in some ways one of the best and in some ways one of the very worst. And yet, even though this year has been absolutely packed full of experiences and changes, my blog reflects almost none of that. I am tired of not getting to tell the stories I want to tell on here because I am constantly afraid of who I'll inadvertently offend with MY story, with MY life. And maybe I'm not going to be afraid of that so much anymore.
So maybe this isn't a breakup, blogging. But I gotta tell you - things have got to change a bit for this to work out for us. You have to be a little less commercialized and popularity-contesty, and I am going to be a little less scared of offending those few people out there with something I say that has nothing to do with them. I mean let's be honest, they were going to be offended by SOMETHING, anyway. Might as well be me :)
Also, Lydah wanted to say hello. She says that if she doesn't care about laying in a dirty fire pit, then everyone can just get over...well, just about everything. She also wants to add that her ears are just perfect, aren't they? And also that she would very much like to go camping again, and if any of you can make that happen, please drop her a line at [email protected]. Yeah, she really is THAT conceited.
um, EXACTLY. Maybe it's not me it's blogging. You said everything perfectly perfect.
Posted by: allthewine | November 18, 2008 at 04:49 PM
A new design is always good; as is a complete death and renewal somewhere else. tell who you want, ignore who you don't. it's all the same.
basically, if you start writing for anyone else, the whole exercise becomes trivial. write for yourself and if people read it, great. if they don't, you weren't writing for them anyways.
Posted by: regan | November 18, 2008 at 04:52 PM
OMG what a gorgeous girl Lydah is. Her fire-pit-lounging personality cracks me up! What a silly little (big!) dog. =) also looking forward to hearing more from you!
Posted by: beck | November 18, 2008 at 04:56 PM
I have definitely missed reading your stories about your life...I loved your PR recaps, but still...a little bit was missing. YOUR stories are so much better. (: I don't think you should worry too much about stepping on toes - if you step on them they're out there to be stepped on, if you know what I mean. Keep writing...I hope this isn't a breakup. Hopefully this'll give you the steam to keep writing...and write more. The blogosphere misses you.
And Lydah is absolutely stunning, so her email address is accurate, not cocky. (: Although, lounging in a firepit isn't exactly the place for a queen like her. (:
Posted by: Claire | November 18, 2008 at 05:03 PM
ATW - Leave it to me, I am FABULOUS at finding the way to blame someone else :)
Regan - This is why you are, and pretty much always have been, my blogging mentor of choice
Beck - Unfortunately, both "silly" and "little" describe Lydah perfectly. She's like a mini-GSD :) A mini-GSD who loves fire pits, apparently
Claire - The toes are out there to be stepped on, I like it...
Posted by: elise | November 18, 2008 at 05:34 PM
Is is just me or is Lydah saying, "Kiss my ash!" Yes, I just went there.
Look, blog when you feel like it. Lord knows my blogging isn't consistent either. I have a reader when you pop up like you did today, I'll read. If weeks go by and I don't hear from you, I'll call you a bitch and ask you what do you think you're doing having a life when you could be blogging. See how easy it is for everyone involved?
Posted by: Dingo | November 18, 2008 at 06:01 PM
I've missed you. By all means, blog when and only when, and if and only if, you feel like it! I'll take infrequent posts over none at all :o).
Posted by: Cassie | November 18, 2008 at 06:10 PM
Lydah might be the perfect specimen of all GSD's. I mean really, could she be any prettier? Shhhh, i think she heard me, i mean look at those ears, she can probably hear everything. And tell her thanks for beating up my poor little dog, and i still claim Lydah bit Cody, not Maggie. Just bc Maggie started the whole thing by eating Lydah's food doesn't mean that Cody deserves to be bitten. Teach her how to take out rage on the right targets. sheeesh
Posted by: Scott | November 18, 2008 at 07:51 PM
Write when you want to, write what you want to. And when all else fails, post pictures of the pets!
Posted by: Operation Pink Herring | November 18, 2008 at 11:04 PM
So for the short time that I have read your blog I have enjoyed it. It's interesting reading the stories of a self-employed business owner. It's even better when they (you in this case) are excellent with words and storytelling. So who cares who is reading or what you are reading, or what you are saying. I am in the boat with Claire..step on those toes and let it out in a blog, why not let the rest of the world enjoy your toe crunching!
Posted by: Chance | November 18, 2008 at 11:42 PM
Ok, so I'm waiting in anticipation for any upcomingness. I love reading YOU stuff. You have inspired me to be more ME out here. Thanks, lady. And thanks for praying for a little girl who needs it.
Posted by: melissa | November 19, 2008 at 12:37 AM
I miss your writing, Elise - so if it means picking up and moving somewhere else, or changing the settings of your blog, I'm all for it.
I think the atmosphere has changed a little; particularly my 'original' blogging friends - some have moved on, life happens, and so I'm definitely not a part of this new wave, but glad for it!
x
Posted by: alyndabear | November 19, 2008 at 02:30 AM
She is pretty gorgeous, and I know a little Lab mix who'd be DELIGHTED to go camping with her sometime, as soon as he learns how to drive and can come and pick her up ;)
Posted by: velocibadgergirl | November 19, 2008 at 08:16 AM
Just wanted to say I, for one, am happy that you have decided to continue blogging. You have been a part of my online morning routine for over a year and I really enjoy your writing. You are a beautiful wordsmith. As for the people who are offended by what you write sometimes they can do what I do when I dont like something on TV: change the channel. Thanks for allowing us a small glimpse into your life and thanks for sticking around.
Posted by: Mike | November 19, 2008 at 08:37 AM
I've recently branched into the "make a couple dollars from blogging" world. I don't consider it disingenuous. I'm still posting the same quality and quantity as before. Any sponsored posts are extra.
Posted by: 3carnations | November 19, 2008 at 09:26 AM
Dingo - Seriously? You ALWAYS make me laugh with your comments.
Cassie - Hi! And thanks, I think sort of starting over from scratch (at least purpose-wise) is gonna help :)
Scott - Lydah DID hear you, and she says thank you; it's true that she's perfect, but thanks nonetheless. Also, she says Maggie bit Cody and maybe you need to get a muzzle for that mutt...wait, what?
OPH - OR, I could just start recapping It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, exclusively. That way I would easily kill two birds with one blogging stone - hilarity and MANY, MANY offended readers ;)
Chance - Hello! Welcome to the blog, and if you're 50% as awesome as your wife, I cannot wait to meet you in real life. Thanks for reading, and thanks for the comment.
Melissa - That made me smile. Thanks for saying that, and also, OF COURSE :) Also also, CONGRATULATIONS, again!
Aly - Maybe we remaining members of the "old wave" are better for it? Either way, I like the concept...
VBG - Yeah, and Lydah's fixed, so as long as your boy "don't got it" anymore, they can go on extra special camping trips together. Lydah says she's in.
Mike - Thank you so much, I appreciate the comment and the sentiment behind it!
3carnations - Like so many other things, it's a question of motives, not technicalities. I really don't mean technically making a dollar or two from blogads or whatever is "disingenuous". It's much more that the motives seem to change, for some bloggers, over time. And very often that motive change is related to money. I am all for people making cash with their site, and some people do it so seamlessly you never even really notice it's happening. Anyway, it's certainly not a hard and fast rule, but my opinion of the genuineness of entirely-corporate-sponsored blogging remains.
Posted by: elise | November 19, 2008 at 10:03 AM
I think it's understandable to want to earn back any expenses on the blog, but it's a hobby, you know? And if people spend lots of money on scrapbooks and doodads, I don't really mind paying for my hosting fees and Flickr membership. I do think it's odd that ads kind of give blogs credibility now, in some strange way.
Posted by: RA | November 19, 2008 at 10:08 AM
Yeah, I hear you, as I'm definitely one of those people guilty of walking out on blogging recently. But I hope you keep at it, because I certainly enjoy reading whatever you have to say here. I've taken to locked posting at livejournal, even though I find livejournal annoying in many ways, just because I find it easier to tell my story if I know exactly who it is getting told to.
I'm pretty grumpy about the commercialization of blogging, too, but you've articulated my feelings on it way better than I've been able to, so far.
Posted by: Amanda | November 19, 2008 at 10:46 AM
Hello! I've missed you. I've been checking here for updates but I haven't given up on you. I understand how you feel; I feel the same way. Sometimes I post a couple of times a week. Then other times I go a few weeks without posting at all. It does rather irk me regarding the whole popularity-contesty thing that you are talking about. I'm still going to just write for me whenever I feel like it and if I get a comment or two, great! If not, oh well. For me, blogging started out (and remains) as an online journal. Old fashioned journals are not shared much with other people, and nobody comments in personal journals. So if nobody comments on my blog, well, then hey, what do I expect?
Anyhoo, no pressure on ya to write so many posts per month or whatever. Feel free to write from the heart whenever you want. I'll still be checking in. And I'm dying to meet you too. I hope all is going well in your personal life and with your store.
Posted by: Chiada | November 19, 2008 at 12:44 PM
Hello, lovely Elise! You were missed in Internet land, but do what is best for you. I LOVED hearing your stories. But blogging, like any good relationship, is about give and take...you should be getting a good feeling about doing what you do, and not forcing it, you know? Otherwise you end up feeling like you are on the world's looooongest date that is not going anywhere. And having been on a fair number of those I would say, there is no good reason to do this to yourself.
Posted by: Jen | November 20, 2008 at 08:49 AM
Hihi my long lost love.... I totally agree with you here... And I have been lackluster in the blogging dept too
But I hope you don't stop writing... I really enjoy reading it.
Posted by: julie | November 20, 2008 at 02:14 PM
drugs help
Posted by: dutch | December 10, 2008 at 11:30 AM