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September 03, 2008



Ugh. Every time I hear the phrase "good enough" as good of a phrase it is to supposedly help us RELAX ALREADY my mind reflexively hollers, "NO! NOT good enough! I can do BETTER!"


Better! MUST DO BETTER! Meaning, you're not doing it right, at the present moment! MEANING YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG. You are doing this all wrong, and now everything will fall apart and also everyone will hate you. Good enough, pshaw.


I definitely have a freakout mode. Mostly when I'm entertaining people, or about to entertain people, or meet people for the first time, especially people I admire, or when I'm taking tests or put on the spot. My mind goes into overdrive with what ifs and maybes and possible fails.

But it made me crazy in college so somehow I turned off the switch. Which makes people think in general that I don't care about anything, when in reality I care too much, and if I let it out, it won't stop coming out.

But I totally understand about recognizing the freakout and wishing you could pull it in or just make it stop, and being completely unable to.

I might suggest a cup of tea?

Jill Marie

Wow....I think you read my mind. I just went back to work after being a "stay-at-home-mom" for a year and a half and I am super stressed. To me, "Good Enough" means I only did enough to get by (ie: half-ass job). I can't handle that. I feel like I have to be the BEST teacher and the BEST mom and the BEST wife and it's exhausting. How can someone be the best at everything they do? I lay in bed for hours at night and my mind just spins with things I need to do to make what I am presently doing....better. I have no advice, only understanding and empathy. Maybe we should start a club.


I seem to be immersed in chaos most of the time. I don't like it but I don't know how to change it. I'd like to chill but it makes me feel guilty because I just KNOW there's something I should be worrying about, or doing, or worrying about doing.

I know people who make it all seem easy. Which in turn makes me feel as if I'm doing it (whatever "it" is) all wrong. Which starts a frenzy of "you need to relax!" or "you need to simplify." Which means that I'm freaking out because I'm not, or can't, do either.

MIke C

I am a stress monger myself Elise. I think recognizing it is the first step. Deep breaths and serenity now chants can go a long way. I also combat it with some me time (read madden 2008) and a Red Stripe.


Ohhhh I SO know what you mean. I'm constantly feeling like I need to be a better employee, a better wife, a better mother, a better daughter, a better sister, a better housekeeper -- that there's always MORE I could be doing to be BETTER. Sometimes I can't sleep because my mind just won't stop churning. It seems like I'm always worrying about something, like I'm always anxious about this or that.

Just so you know, I think what you did -- starting your own business so young -- is absolutely AMAZING. Even if you feel like you could do better, you should feel so accomplished for what you HAVE done!



atw: I am drinking a cup of green tea right at this very minute and the little message on the teabag tag says "whatever you are doing right now is the most beautiful thing". So....maybe that will help?

Jill Marie: Let me know when the club meets and I will bring cookies that I'll obsessively make sure taste better than anyone else's.

Dingo: About 10 minutes after posting this one, I got an email saying simply (ha): "you need to simplify". Oh, so THAT'S how it's done!

Mike C: Do you think I could chant "Red Stripe and Madden, Red Stripe and Madden..." and it would have the same effect? I kind of feel better already...

Cassie: Come to the club meeting Jill Marie started! But be forewarned...I'm already obsessing over the cookies. Maybe you could do drinks? Make sure they're original, cute, and take a REALLY long time to make.


Hmm.. I think I fall somewhere inbetween your stress and your friend's calm. I do fold my laundry when I get home from work, I don't fall asleep with the TV on, I pick up my house, and I don't mind when people stop by unannounced. However I do have feelings of stress and "you can do better" at times. For instance, at work. I like to be challenged and learn new things. Whenever I've been at a job for a long time I start to feel stagnant, as if I'm not using my brain to it's capacity. I also stress at home when I'm not picking up the house and I feel like I need to clean and do laundry and if I don't then I am being lazy. Sometimes, though, I don't care if I'm lazy and I just look at the mess and shrug my shoulders and think "oh well". One reason why I've gotten like that is because I'm sick of doing it all myself and getting mad at Hub-E for being on the computer while I clean the house. I figure, if he's not going to get up and help me then I'm not going to do it all myself and feel like the maid. I'll just live in a pigsty too, LOL. But he usually does help so it's not like it's a pigsty. Besides, he always tells me about the horrible places he goes into for work and how our place is in the top 1% of clean houses. I guess that makes me feel a little better.


I live there too. Except my stress morphed into panic attacks. Yeah!!! I am going through a really good book right now that has some good tools in helping me figure out why I really am stressed. Because cooking dinner isn't that stressful, but something in my head is making it stressful. The book's called "When Panic Attacks" by Dr. Burns.

I would recommend it for people who don't have panic attacks but want to learn more about what makes them tick. His whole premise is that if you change how you think then you will change how you feel. It's helping me to stop being a perfectionist and learn how to relax.

Teacher A

I was definitely freaking out about this whole jobless thing, until R sat me down and clearly stated that we'd be fine with me not working for a few months (if it came down to that), I should be enjoying the time off, and that he was jealous of me getting time off and annoyed that I wasn't taking full advantage of it. After that, I calmed the hell down.

Normally, my freak outs inspire bouts of planning and researching. After I feel I've armed myself with enough information, I generally mellow out.


um, i've just become this person.

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