Welcome back, Project Runway-ers! We're on episode 9, can you believe it? I sure can!
Opening at Atlas Apartments, Kenley, sans makeup, feels as if she really IS one of the best. Blayne and Suede have some pillow talk about pop tarts and chiffon.
On the runway, Heidi actually looks...bad. She's wearing that kind of long tunic that has no stretch and hugs the hips while simultaneously bagging around the waist. And she brings out - the auf'ed designers! Don't worry, Heidi says. They're not here to compete, they are here to assist the real designers in an avant-garde look. The look must be inspired by the astrological sign of one team member. Joe says in his opinion, avant-garde means putting a sock over his model's head and calling it fashion. Way to sound creative, there, Joe. Kenley says she doesn't work well in groups. She hides it so well - who would've thought?
Tim comes out with the velvet button bag and draws names for the teams:
- Korto, an Aquarius (my sign!) is first and she's with Kelli.
- Kenley is also an Aquarius and she's with Wesley
- Joe, an Aries, will be with Daniel.
- Leanne's a Libra and is with Emily.
- Blayne, also a Libra, will be with Stella ("love your face!!", they exclaim at each other. Gross).
- Terri is a Sagittarius and is with Keith, a Leo - a fact which should shock exactly no one.
- Jerell, another Sagittarius is with Jennifer, who I totally forgot existed.
- Suede is also a Sagittarius and will be with Jerry, who I REALLY forgot existed.
Suede and Jerry are doing the Libra scales as well. Terri and Keith are not getting along. Keith tells Terri he's fragile, so be careful with him. Just tell him where he'll be most useful to her and let him at it. Terri feels that he'll be of most help counting the pins that fall on the floor, because she finds his whining tedious and his design aesthetic decidedly NOT "kick".
Joe and Daniel are are doing Joe's sign, which is Aries (the Ram). Finally, Daniel can do couture. But he'll probably complain about how farm animals are NOT high-fashion. Or that anything that can be shorn CANNOT be worn. I can't wait to hear his excuse.
Kelli! Is back! I love! Her! I really hope they win. And it will be triply good because they're doing Aquarius (my sign!), Korto is great, and they'll beat the other Aquarius, who is currently acting like she's got this thing all wrapped up in a giant ball of HUBRIS. Ahem, Kenley, didn't you pay attention to my title last week? No, you did not, and this week you are obsessing over how accurately the Aquarius sign describes you. Strong? Check. Adventurous? Check. Loud and annoying to everyone around you? Check! Oh, that's not part of Aquarius, that must be a little, aggravating, mosquito-esque star that has fallen into Kenley's orbit. AND WILL NOT LEAVE.
Blayne uses a completely new language to explain his and Stella's Libra vision to Tim. He uses "manifest" a whole bunch of times, and then the sounds "annah" and "ku-kk-k" and waves his arms around a lot. Then he says, in English, that they're also gonna use these here leather strips. Tim says "can I ask why?" Yes, me too, Tim, I'd like to know why. Blayne says "umm, did you SEE who you drew for me out of your little button bag, dude?" And Tim says "K-Kuh-Ku" and Blayne looks happy and Stella says "I don't think he got it".
Tim hates Jerell's fabric choice, which looks to me like a wide-check brown and cream houndstooth. Paired with gold lame. And maybe Jerell is holding another swatch that's kind of a plaid, but that might just be the shirt he came in wearing, because it doesn't match the other two fabrics at all. Or maybe that's why Tim seems worried. Jennifer, who we all remember better as Snoozefest, aptly says nothing at all, and might as well not be there.
Leanne and Emily's exoskeleton-inspired Scorpio design looks like it's got potential to be awesome. Tim says he loves the exoskeleton idea and that they have lots of work to do but to carry on. I think that no matter what else happens, Leanne might have a fabulous career ahead of her doing sexy costumes for comic book-inspired movies, like Batman. Remember her car-seat dress thing? And this Scorpion dress looks very similar in design aesthetic.
And now it's Kenley's turn and I honestly could not be smiling any wider than I am right now. Tim hates her idea, says it's totally costumey and not in an awesome, dangerous, Leanne-type way. No, it's like a school play, featuring Kenley's look as Glenda, the good witch of the North. Kenley, in her typically prideful way, interrupts Tim the entire time he is trying to guide her, saying things like "no", "who would wear this as a costume" and "Glenda would NEVER be as fabulous as this". Tim says "okay, don't listen to me, then - just don't listen to me". KENLEY, LIKE FOR REAL, HAVE YOU EVER WATCHED THE SHOW BEFORE?? You listen to Tim. And then Kenley says "okay, I won't listen to you! I can't wait to show this to the judges! It's going to be fabulous!" And Tim walks off, saying "good luck to the both of you". Wesley sighs in defeat. Tim might as well have said "and I hope you enjoy your last two days here on Project Runway". Kenley, prepare to crash and burn.
Terri and Keith disagree on everything and generally hate each other. That's just about all there is to say about them. Tim says he hopes they have good synergy and then looks back and forth as they alternately sit in silence and argue. So much for that.
It's the second day, and the camera guys are happy because Wesley is back in the apartments and they can get a good shirtless shot for all the gays. The designers head back to Parsons for workday two, and they are met with a note from Heidi, telling them they will be showcasing their designs at the Natural History Museum at 8pm that night and also there will be a double elimination. No one likes any of that. Now everyone's freaking out, rushing around, running into each other - well, everyone but Stella, who informs us once again that she doesn't rush. Because she's rawk, not disco.
Keith displays an incredible lack of self-awareness as he explains to the camera that he won't stand around looking like a fool while Terri continually gives him nothing to do. It's not his fault, he says, that she's just angry and bitter. Bitter about what, exactly, Keith? Bitter that she's still on the show and you're not?
Tim comes in to say that he'll be sending in the models and that the designers, the models, and the garments have to be ready for showtime in one hour. Oh yeah, Tim says - along with the double elimination, there will be no immunity in this challenge. In fact, there will be no more immunity, EVER. Ha! He chuckles evilly, looking at Kenley, and clicks his heels together, disappearing in a cloud of smoke. Well no, Tim is always for Good and not Evil, so maybe he chuckles gracefully, gives Kenley a look of pity, and then floats away in a big bubble. Actually none of that happened, but he did say there will be no more immunity, and the designers don't like that either.
The models are sent in, and the workroom looks like mass chaos. Unfortunately, what I was hoping might be Jerell's own shirt turns out to be horribly mismatched fabric he has used on his dress. Kelli says she's sewing into nothing, and Korto confirms that her entire outfit is pinned together and will be going to the museum just like that. Korto better hope Nina Garcia is still on vacation because she can see the glint of a straight pin from a mile out. Kenley looks around and thinks her design is light-years better than anyone else's. Of course she does.
In our teaser before the commercial break, we see Heidi looking at Kenley's monstrosity and wondering why the boobs are "down here" as she gestures to the mid-torso area. Kenley's response is to tell Heidi that the model's boobs are in the same place as Heidi's (insulting much?) and the camera "if Heidi is talking nonsense, I'll just set her straight. Yes, I'll set her straight."
If this is not all some big, elaborate set-up for Kenley's demise, I am going to scream and pull her hair out MYSELF.
Well, it turns out the "party" that the designers are showing at is held at the Rose Center for Earth and Space, which is inside the Natural History Museum. It's basically a planetarium. As an aside, who else thinks planetariums are super awesome besides me? Because I really, REALLY like planetariums. Did you ever see that episode of Freaks and Geeks where they go on dates to the planetarium on Friday night, and the whole thing is turned into a light/star show played to music? Because that is a great idea. Why am I not going on dates like that?
Oh, all the "special guests" at the party turn out to be designers from past seasons of Project Runway. There's Daniel Vosovic, Christian Siriano, Jay McCarroll, and a bunch of other ones I'm too lazy to look up and spell correctly. Heidi, with fabulous hair, welcomes everyone and announces that the designers from past seasons will be picking the winner of this challenge. The current designers are nonplussed and stand around frowning with their arms crossed. Christian Siriano looks down his nose at everyone and does a little shimmy. Stella is wearing a grommetted leather bra. Everything is as it should be.
The party commences with Heidi saying "let's pop some bottles!" and the old designers critique the new designers and their outfits. So basically it's like a giant Tim-Midday-Checkup type thing. Keith behaves awkwardly and is still moping around. Kenley does her little "set Heidi straight" thing. Christian asks Terri if her model can remove the lion's mane/fake fur collar thing, and she says yes of course. The model removes it, and Christian jumps up and down and says "NOW it's pretty!" Terri tells the camera that the whole thing was based around the fur, so she can't remove it - what's a girl to do? But she CAN, actually remove the fur. Really easily, in fact. Just to clarify. Blayne, in response to Heidi's concern that his garment is the same color as a pair of granny panties, says "but you do get the concept, right? Heidi?" Heidi looks like she doesn't. Joe's Ram dress, thankfully, has nothing to do with the St. Louis Rams and everything to do with flowing, gorgeous, fiery fabrics. Everyone likes it. Also, Daniel Vosovic, the Good Daniel, loves Jerell's dress, which is a good sign for ol' Jerell.
Party ends, designers go to bed filled with bubbly champagne dreams of stabbing Kenley with a million straight pins, and the next morning everyone heads back to Parsons to, I suppose, actually sew their garments together and get ready for the runway show. Terri has slept on it and is removing the fake fur collar. I guess that's what a girl's to do, then. Keith is sleeping on the couch in the lounge, having abandoned Terri and fully embraced his King of Pout status.
Tim comes in and tells the designers that it's time for the show and they need to "get the lead out!" Everyone straggles out of the workroom, leaving Tim calling for Keith. Who, as we know, is asleep on the couch. Tim goes to wake him up and I'm thinking that cannot bode well for any future Project Runway collaboration Keith may have hoped for.
On the runway, Heidi tells the designers that the votes from the previous night have been tabulated and the results will be announced a bit later. And then she introduces the judges. I'm a bit confused, since I though the judging was done the night before with the old designers, but maybe those results will just be factored into the ultimate decision? Or maybe the new judges just pick the winner, and the regular judges pick the losers? Not sure. Anyhow, Nina is back, and she, inexplicably, welcomes the designers back, although they've been there all along. Blayne picks up on this and says "welcome back to you, Nina". She grins. Maybe she kind of loves Blayne. The guest judge this week is Francisco Costa, the women's creative director for Calvin Klein. The runway show starts, and my thoughts are as follows, in PASS/FAIL format:
Blayne/Stella - Blayne is a Libra, so they are playing on the balance thing, and this is definitely unbalanced. One side has huge poufs of pink and red and blue fabric, and the other is plain, granny-panty beige. The middle has a bunch of leather straps criss-crossing the torso. I guess I see the concept, so maybe it will pass? It's EXCEPTIONALLY ugly though.
Kenley/Wesley - horrific. An absolute abomination on the sign of Aquarius. The giant shoulders aren't the same size although they clearly should be, Kenley's fabric choices are questionable, and the skirt is boring in comparison to the the insanity of the concept. Wesley hates it, and says so in interview. It's truly bad, and if she isn't gone after this challenge I won't understand it one bit. FAIL.
Terri/Keith - Terri has removed the fake fur from her Leo-inspired design and replaced it with some fabric in fiery colors. It's actually pretty, and even through Keith's background snarking as the model comes down the runway, I see it as a pass.
Korto/Kelli - not as awesome as I had hoped, but it definitely looks like the water-bearing Aquarius sign, and it's nice and flowy and watery and fits well, so it should definitely pass.
Joe/Daniel - they focused on the fiery aspect of Aries, and this dress is awesome. Even in silhouette it looked amazing and as the model walks down the runway the skirt flounces in all the right places and generally looks well-done and beautiful. I can really see Daniel's point of view in this dress, and am wondering if Wesley is his muse, or something. Pass, and I'm calling win.
Jerell/Snoozefest - Sagittarius interpretation, and I think the same of this as I usually think of Jerell's stuff. His designs almost always look well-done, interesting, and not at all to my taste. I mean, I think Jerell is super creative, and the jacket on top of the dress is crazy and very cool. The skirt (in the houndstooth) is very tight and would never look good on anyone, ever, but this is conceptual and so that doesn't matter. Pass.
Leanne/Emily - Scorpio - they win for making a garment that could actually be turned into a wearable dress later down the road. It doesn't seem like they put that much work into it, but it's hard to see how they constructed the black, curling, swirly part that goes up around the model's head, so maybe that was where they spent their time? Pass.
Suede/Jerry - oh Suede, you're going home. I don't see Libra at all - it's just uninspired and very blah. Fail.
Korto's team, Jerell's team, Leanne's team and Joe's team are all safe, and one of those teams has the winner. It's gotta be Joe. Either way, they leave the runway and everyone else is left to suffer and possibly be auf'ed.
Blayne is called first, and his outfit is the one responsible for causing Michael Kors to exclaim "she's pooping fabric!" I don't think I need to say more - no one likes it at all.
Terri's next and she and Keith continue to publicly display their distaste for one another. Michael Kors is all excited about the drama, and wants to talk extensively about their compatibility, or lack thereof. Terri and Keith talk over each other, playing the blame game, and Michael (who started the whole thing) interrupts authoritatively, telling them they're being silly and that they can't expect to be taken seriously in the design world if they can't work well with others. Then the judges tell Terri that her outfit is in bad taste, and looks like a "voodoo princess in hell". Aw, they threw the "bad taste" card at her. Terri is pissed.
Kenley's up and I can hardly contain myself. Nina brings up the fact that Kenley's look has nothing to do with A) Aquarius or B) the Zodiac whatsoever. Kenley interrupts Nina (oh my, this won't be good), and says her design was DEFINITELY inspired by Aquarius, even going as far as to list some of the traits she saw in herself. Nina won't let Kenley talk over her, and soldiers on, finalizing her comment with "it just seems like you did whatever YOU wanted to do and disregarded the challenge". Michael tells her that he's seen this silhouette before, at Dolce & Gabbana AND Viktor & Rolf. Kenley interrupts this comment with a snide "I don't look at collections" and Nina gives her a patronizing look. Really, Kenley. Was that supposed to be impressive? That you are inspired by you and you alone? That you eschew the talent and creativity of others in your field who have been wildly successful? Yeah, that's how I get ahead too, I take someone who is REALLY good at what I want to do and I ignore them.
Suede is speaking only in the third person on the runway (for the first time ever! - he usually only does that in the workroom), and none of the judges find his outfit avant-garde, which was just explained to Kenley as meaning "hasn't been seen before". Michael says it wasn't a "what could be easily put in a department store" challenge. But mostly they leave Suede alone.
The judges confer and find Blayne's outfit to be a total disaster, Terri to be tasteless (Nina's assessment), Kenley to be stubborn and prideful, Suede's design to be uninspired, and Suede's third person affectation to be uncalled for (he's SO not there as a designer, says Michael Kors).
The results are in:
Winner: Jerell! What a surprise! Jerell says "who'da thunk it?" Not me, that's for sure. I guess Daniel V's blessing means a lot in Project RunwayWorld.
Loser #1: Blayne. So sad. Just as I was starting to like him, and he leaves with grace, telling us that he's about to rule the world so we'd better watch out.
Loser #2: Terri. Wow. I did NOT see that one coming. Not only did I think her dress was a pass, I thought she would be in the final four. Nina's vacation ended at a really bad time for Terri.
Aarrrghhhh, that means Kenley is still in! I am beyond disgusted. I really AM gonna have to tear that chick's hair out myself.
Uhm - planetarium?!?!? YES PLEASE!
Posted by: Claire | September 12, 2008 at 08:23 PM
Do you think the model wearing Kenley's dress walked around backstage asking the other models, "Do you think this dress makes my shoulders look big?"
Posted by: Dingo | September 13, 2008 at 02:07 AM
I am having a really hard time buying that these matchups weren't staged. Really? The Dynamic Duo of Disastrous Designs were just thrown together by chance? I'm sad to see Blayne go even though all his stuff was horrific. He's like a terribly annoying younger brother and I will sort of miss him. Terri, I will not miss. I actually yelled "Sayonara, beeyotch!" at the TV when she got the boot.
Don't worry, Kenly HAS to be next.
Posted by: Operation Pink Herring | September 13, 2008 at 02:04 PM
none of the designers are Cancers which completely makes since why I could never survive in Fashion.
Posted by: allthewine | September 13, 2008 at 02:33 PM
since? Sense. I hate the english language.
Posted by: allthewine | September 13, 2008 at 02:33 PM
I was sort of sad to see Blayne go too. He was very sort of sweet. Terri -- well, she was starting to get on my nerves, so I would have been okay if she went home...but NOT THIS WEEK. THIS WEEK KENLEY SHOULD HAVE GONE. Seriously, HOW is she still there, after insulting Heidi and interrupting the judges about a zillion times?
And was I the only one who thought MK was on something this week? He was in rare form at the runway show!
Posted by: Cassie | September 13, 2008 at 10:00 PM
During the auf-ing, I was yelling menacingly at the TV, "Do it, Heidi! Double whammy on Blayne and Suede!" I thought Suede's third-person alter-ego had really done him in, but noooo. Bah. At least Blayne is gone, though. He never did grow on me.
Keith was pretty whiny, but Terri was insanely mean to him. I didn't blame him at all for walking away.
As irritating as Kenley is, I think she is one of the more talented people on the show, so I am okay with her not being booted. However, I am NOT okay with her refusing to take feedback and constant interrupting. Next week, she's at it again, so maybe she'll finish up that grave she's digging.
Posted by: RA | September 15, 2008 at 11:55 AM
Nothing against you or the show but I cant wait till it is over so you can go back to your regular blog entries. You are at your best blogging about yourself Elise. Does anyone else feel this way?
Posted by: Mike C | September 17, 2008 at 08:11 AM
Am so damn late with posting my comment!
Damn that Hurricane Ike!
Anyways, yeah. So bummed my gal Terri was auf'ed. Though she probably deserved it this week. But Kenley ... Argh. Personally, I thought Suede and Blayne should have both gone.
Now to work my own Ep. 10 blog!
Posted by: Cliff O'Neill | September 18, 2008 at 12:29 PM