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August 07, 2008



no way. if we were all supposed to want to have kids, who would be the crazy spinster aunt (me, that's who).

I think it's completely natural to not want kids right now... you're enjoying life with your hubster (happy anniversary times a zillion!) still young and plenty fertile, and I have it on good word that sometimes you just wake up and the desire could hit you. Give it time.

Besides when you have kids you most definitely cannot go see Radiohead in LA. Hollywood Bowl?? Did you get them??


All I know is that the "someone delivering a baby to your porch" option sounds like it would make a really neat story.


Honestly, I don't think that it would be bad to decide to have kids without actually craving kids, if that makes any sense.

I never had a moment where I thought OMG, having a baby would be the best thing ever, and I absolutely must have one! For me, it was more like I went from being indifferent (similar to what you describe, I think) to all of a sudden thinking yes, I want a baby. And that thought didn't happen until I was 28, so you sound normal to me!


I think too many people have kids because they feel they're running out of time for some reason or another. And I think a lot of them regret it, but when you're talking about having kids, you can't really live with a lifetime of regret, so those people just convince themselves they're happy, which leads to all kinds of weird issues. Maybe you can get a babysitting job or something...


Your ovaries are not broken! You sound so much like the way I felt before I got pregnant. I felt like I had plenty of time, and I wasn't really feeling the URGE to have kids yet. I did not dream about babies or look longingly at the baby stuff in stores. I was pretty indifferent to the idea of a child, in fact. And then, surprise! He was absolutely the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I didn't even realize I wanted him so much. Maybe that'll happen to you, and maybe it won't; either way it's okay. The last thing you want to do is have a baby for all the wrong reasons.

I just hope you don't have people in your life who are starting to bug you about having kids, because I did, and that totally sucked.

Fraulein N

Some people (okay, many people) have kids without thinking about whether they want one or not. I think if you're at the point where when you think about the possibility of having kids, you know you could do it and you would be cool with it ... then that's where you are.

I think it's a myth that women are at some point supposed to feel this magical URGE to have a baby.

Operation Pink Herring

I feel like I'm missing something, too. I know for certain that I DO want to have kids - someday. Not now. Not next year. Probably not the year after that. I just feel totally unprepared, we don't have enough money (will we ever?), I love our freedom, and I love my alone time - and I'm not ready to give that up anytime soon. I also have zero baby fever... I might be more enthusiastic if I could decide one day "hey, let's get a kid!" and we could go to the kid store and pick up a cute three year old, who'd already be potty trained and able to talk.

Operation Pink Herring



I know what you mean. Sometimes the lack of a functioning biological clock makes me feel like something of an alien. But then I think of all the people I know who have hormones hit them at some point or another and get positively FRENZIED about having children, and I think, god, that would be really creepy.

So some days I am okay with feeling like an alien, and some days I am not.


Happy Anniversary! (3 days late) Ours was on the 7th too! (nine years)

I don't know about the whole kid thing. I go back in forth in my mind all the time and I'm 30! I don't know if I'll ever feel the urge or crave or longing for a kid. Sometimes I feel a little wistful, but a couple days later and I'm thankful for not having them. It's weird how I am constantly swinging back and forth.

And as for broken ovaries, dude, sometimes I wonder if mine really are broken because, well, let's just say that I've been married for 9 years and never used b.c. Yeah, what gives? LOL Who knows. Maybe one day I'll be surprised.

Teacher A

I know I'm a bit late (I blame the wedding), but I still want to put my 2 cents in.

My parents waited for 10 years after they were married to have kids, and the only thing that prodded them along was the death of one of my mother's grandparents. For a while there they weren't sure they would even have kids at all, but that event changed my mom's mind, and she eventually changed my dad's.

My sister, on the other hand, loves babies and really wants me to have them as soon as I possibly can, but doesn't really want any of her own. She's still young, but I could certainly see her being the cool aunt (or else adopting much later in life).

So, in summary, don't worry too much about it. You might want to have kids later, you could just be the adopting later in life type (or want to sink tons of money into medical procedures), or you may just be an awesome aunt for life. All of which are just fine.

Teacher A

Oh, and my parents totally got the "Sigh. Another Christmas without grandchildren" routine from my mom's parents for years, EVEN THOUGH THEY ALREADY HAD GRANDCHILDREN. Crazy people.


I feel no doubt that your ovaries will start prodding away when it's "time."

Of course, mine already started acting up (like 3 years ago)! Because kids SO don't fit into my life at any point in the near future, the whole hormonal biological clock thing is mostly just creepy.

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