I think this post is either going to annoy you, or you're going to be like, OH MY GOSH, I TOTALLY GET THAT. I would just forge ahead naively thinking that EVERYONE will get it and love it, but I can't, because I am the type of person who, even 6 months ago, would have read this and been like, DUDE, THAT IS ANNOYING, SHUT IT.
So. Sorry in advance, and annoyed readers? I feel ya.
This summer has been weird for several reasons, but the main ones are as follows: A) it's the summer and so things are slow at the store, B) all but one of my employees are college-age girls who don't have class this summer and are literally fighting over hours, and/so C) I have not been at the store nearly as much as I am used to. I guess I kind of have the summer off, in a weird way - I mean, I still have to go to Los Angeles for market out there, and have to attend other, smaller markets and/or meetings, and I still have to do the business side of the business - but I really don't have to be IN the store. Anyway, I knew that was how this summer was going to be - that I was going to find myself with a lot of extra time to try and manage well - and I knew I was going to have to really focus on becoming quite a bit more disciplined.
The only thing I suck at more than time-management is discipline.
The four main things I think of when I think about living a disciplined life are (wow, I am really all about the subpoints today) A) eating habits B) exercise habits C) life-maintenance habits and D) spiritual habits. In an attempt to kick-start my Summer o'Discipline, I decided not to completely overwhelm myself by trying to perfect A-D all at once, and instead chose to focus on B. Once I got B down to a science, I would move on to another letter. I felt pretty good not starting with A because of the weird death-flu-stress thing I had going on back in May that got me away from some of my most heinous eating habits. I honestly think that feeling like I had at least one out of the four Life Disciplines somewhat under control made me more confident in going after the next.
I have a weird relationship with exercise. I'm like the douchey boyfriend who woos the girl, Exercise, and pretends to be all committed - and then, for the next 10 years, intermittently ignores and loves her until she's completely fed up and confused. And then Exercise exacts her revenge on me in terrifying ways, like spin classes and stair-climbers and treadmills. All of which I HATE. Passionately. And then I forget why I ever loved Exercise at all, and I tell her I think we need to break up and Exercise is all "good riddance, loser" and I'm all "whatever, you're just AWFUL anyway" and then we go our separate ways. That is, until I start feeling lazy and lethargic and gain some weight and see other, healthy individuals jogging by, glowing and looking all in love with MY ex. And then I want her back.
See? Just like that dude you used to date!
So when I looked at the list of Life Disciplines and knew I needed to attack Exercise, I was...nonplussed? No, that might not be right. Maybe I was equal parts scared, intimidated, frustrated, and excited. Excited because I knew how awesome a good, healthy relationship with exercise could be, but all those other things because I had never managed to maintain that relationship very well at all. And so finally, after 27 years of being on this planet, I decided to inventory exactly what it was I liked and disliked about ol' Exercise and stop trying to force all of the things I really, truly hated.
It went a little something like this:
Running? HATE. No.
Swimming? LOVE, but not the most practical discipline unless one has near-constant access to a pool/doesn't mind smelling like a chlorine factory/doesn't travel. No.
Gym weight training? LIKE, to a point - but definitely not enough to maintain, and isn't good enough on it's own because you have to add in cardio. No.
Various gym cardio (think stairmaster, elliptical trainer, stationary bike, treadmill)?
HATE HATE HATE. No.
Gym classes (think pilates, aerobics, spin)? LIKE, on a relative basis, but not enough to get up early, take myself to the gym, avoid the talky-talky morning exercisers, and maintain. No.
In doing that little test, I realized that I pretty much dislike the gym altogether. I don't like it when I need a machine and I have to wait or, even worse, break in on someone's cycle. I don't like making conversation with the gym people I kind of know, but don't really. I don't like having to be on someone else's class schedule. I don't like the crowded cardio room and I HATE all the cardio equipment. I guess I'm just not a gym person. Who knew? Better question - WHY DID I NOT KNOW? I've been either going to or studiously avoiding gyms for the better part of the last 12 years. Why has it taken me this long to realize that I really just don't like them?
Coming to this conclusion sure made it a lot easier to cancel my gym membership, thus getting a leg-up on the financial aspect of Life Discipline C. Good riddance, gym.
But I still wasn't set. I knew that I didn't like going to a gym, and I wasn't going to waste time and money trying to force myself into that anymore. I knew that I HATED running, and let's be honest, there was no way I was going to try and force myself into that anyway. I have come to terms with my hatred for running a long time ago; for many years I believed those LIES the runners tell you - the lies about how once you "break through your threshold" it all gets better and suddenly, running tuns into this bucolic, euphoric experience - to this I say: LIES, YOU LYING LIARS. I ran cross-country in high-school and CONTINUED running into college just to try and find this "threshold" and let me tell you - for me, IT DOES NOT EXIST.
Swimming was out, because even though I really do love swimming (and it's awesome exercise) I knew that I wouldn't religiously drag myself to the local Y or the junior college pool every day to do laps. There are always weird time-restrictions and swim meets and swimming lessons and believe me when I tell you that the TINIEST kink in my exercise plans will result in me saying "hmm, too bad, guess I'll just go to Starbucks". Happily.
So no gym, no running, no swimming. Nothing that requires me to interact with preternaturally chipper morning exercisers or be on someone else's schedule. Nothing that involves horrible, tortuous cardio equipment. I felt like I was running out of options so I decided to go back to my roots. For the first 15 years of my life I was in great shape, well-exercised, and happy about it. What was I doing? Ballet. I was one of those SUPER serious ballet girls; the ones who have one class or another nearly every day and have their own lingo and sit together, chatting, while they tape their broken, mashed feet so that they can shove them back into pointe shoes. One of those girls who has recitals that literally take over her life, and legs she can lift over her head and enough pairs of pale pink Capezio tights to stock a small warehouse. I was one of those girls. And I LOVED ballet. I never felt like I was going to "exercise", I was going to dance. It was glorious. So ballet seemed like a potential option. But not really.
First of all, I'm not 15 anymore. And secondly, when I DID do ballet, it wasn't a hobby. I was pretty serious about it, and I was in some pretty advanced classes with some pretty major plans - until we moved to a town with NO good ballet studios when I was 15. I always tell people that ballet is the only thing at which I was ever REALLY naturally good. I once tried (I think I was 19 or so) to go back to ballet, just because I missed it so much, and it was absolutely humiliating. No longer could I stretch my leg into infinity, all the girls were younger, and when the instructor asked my age she suggested the Adult Ballet class. Gross. There was no way. Even though now, at 27, I seriously doubt I would feel the humiliation as much, I would still be subjected to class schedules, specialized equipment needs, and (worst of all) the chatty fellow exerciser. So no ballet. But maybe something LIKE ballet....
And that's how I fell for yoga. I had practiced yoga before, for almost a year actually, right when I moved back to my hometown in 2004. The gym I was a member of (again, with that pesky, omnipresent gym membership!) had recently started hosting yoga classes, and I thought I'd give it a try. I really enjoyed yoga a lot, even the Bikram practice we were doing at the gym, which requires the room to be heated to a minimum of 98 degrees with 40% humidity. You can pretty easily burn up to 600 calories in a 90 minute Bikram yoga class, and you sweat...umm...a LOT. Like, you walk out looking like you jumped into a swimming pool. There are many reasons for the heat (increased flexibility, increased heart rate, increased blood flow, removal of toxins) but suffice it to say, after your 40th downward facing dog "resting" pose, as your hands slide around in the STANDING water (well, sweat) on your mat, you either go to a "higher place" or get the heck out. I loved it. But then my gym canceled all yoga classes because of this hilarious story where the owner totally freaked out, busted in on an ONGOING yoga class, and started trying to EXORCISE DEMONS. Not sure how the demons fared, but the classes were sufficiently exorcised, and so that was the end of my brief affair with yoga.
At least until 5 or 6 months ago, when I had effectively ruled out just about every other type of exercise and decided I was just going to DO it already. I got on Amazon, researched a bunch of yoga videos, and ordered a couple. Fast-forward to today, and I have been practicing a mix of Bikram, Hatha, Vinyasa, and Ashtanga yoga and I absolutely love it. I do it just about every day, and it's totally easy because all I have to do is walk upstairs (where, unless we turn on the air, it's almost ALWAYS above 98 degrees), unroll my mat, turn on the DVD player, and have at it. I have little to no opportunity to make an excuse for why I "couldn't make it today", and when I travel I just pop a DVD or two into my bag and either bring my own mat or buy a cheap replacement. I have now incorporated actual studio (teacher-led) classes into my yoga practice, but I honestly don't feel like I have been missing out by doing it at home. Yoga is such a different type of exercise in that it (cue cheesy Zen music) really does require you to GET INSIDE YOUR OWN HEAD and make your body respond accordingly. Maybe this actually ISN'T a different type of exercise; maybe everybody who has found their "thing" feels the same way when they are running, or doing spin class or whatever. But for me, practicing yoga really does give me that whole mind-body connection, where I can THINK about going further in a pose, and then ACTUALLY do it. When otherwise I would have thought there was no way.
So that's crow. Or crane, depending on where you're practicing. Anyway, if you've done it before, you know it's not that hard; it's much more about balance than strength. But if you HAVEN'T done it before, like I hadn't, then you look at it and think UMM NO. CANNOT DO. FAIL. And so that's how I felt about crow. But after a while (and the privilege of practicing alone) I got over my fear of crow. And today in class when the teacher called for 5 full breaths in crow pose, I was able to do it the whole time, with no hesitation. The euphoria of that moment made me nearly not care when, only 20 minutes later, I fell flat on my butt during salamba sarvangasana.
So. Sorry in advance, and annoyed readers? I feel ya.
This summer has been weird for several reasons, but the main ones are as follows: A) it's the summer and so things are slow at the store, B) all but one of my employees are college-age girls who don't have class this summer and are literally fighting over hours, and/so C) I have not been at the store nearly as much as I am used to. I guess I kind of have the summer off, in a weird way - I mean, I still have to go to Los Angeles for market out there, and have to attend other, smaller markets and/or meetings, and I still have to do the business side of the business - but I really don't have to be IN the store. Anyway, I knew that was how this summer was going to be - that I was going to find myself with a lot of extra time to try and manage well - and I knew I was going to have to really focus on becoming quite a bit more disciplined.
The only thing I suck at more than time-management is discipline.
The four main things I think of when I think about living a disciplined life are (wow, I am really all about the subpoints today) A) eating habits B) exercise habits C) life-maintenance habits and D) spiritual habits. In an attempt to kick-start my Summer o'Discipline, I decided not to completely overwhelm myself by trying to perfect A-D all at once, and instead chose to focus on B. Once I got B down to a science, I would move on to another letter. I felt pretty good not starting with A because of the weird death-flu-stress thing I had going on back in May that got me away from some of my most heinous eating habits. I honestly think that feeling like I had at least one out of the four Life Disciplines somewhat under control made me more confident in going after the next.
I have a weird relationship with exercise. I'm like the douchey boyfriend who woos the girl, Exercise, and pretends to be all committed - and then, for the next 10 years, intermittently ignores and loves her until she's completely fed up and confused. And then Exercise exacts her revenge on me in terrifying ways, like spin classes and stair-climbers and treadmills. All of which I HATE. Passionately. And then I forget why I ever loved Exercise at all, and I tell her I think we need to break up and Exercise is all "good riddance, loser" and I'm all "whatever, you're just AWFUL anyway" and then we go our separate ways. That is, until I start feeling lazy and lethargic and gain some weight and see other, healthy individuals jogging by, glowing and looking all in love with MY ex. And then I want her back.
See? Just like that dude you used to date!
So when I looked at the list of Life Disciplines and knew I needed to attack Exercise, I was...nonplussed? No, that might not be right. Maybe I was equal parts scared, intimidated, frustrated, and excited. Excited because I knew how awesome a good, healthy relationship with exercise could be, but all those other things because I had never managed to maintain that relationship very well at all. And so finally, after 27 years of being on this planet, I decided to inventory exactly what it was I liked and disliked about ol' Exercise and stop trying to force all of the things I really, truly hated.
It went a little something like this:
Running? HATE. No.
Swimming? LOVE, but not the most practical discipline unless one has near-constant access to a pool/doesn't mind smelling like a chlorine factory/doesn't travel. No.
Gym weight training? LIKE, to a point - but definitely not enough to maintain, and isn't good enough on it's own because you have to add in cardio. No.
Various gym cardio (think stairmaster, elliptical trainer, stationary bike, treadmill)?
HATE HATE HATE. No.
Gym classes (think pilates, aerobics, spin)? LIKE, on a relative basis, but not enough to get up early, take myself to the gym, avoid the talky-talky morning exercisers, and maintain. No.
In doing that little test, I realized that I pretty much dislike the gym altogether. I don't like it when I need a machine and I have to wait or, even worse, break in on someone's cycle. I don't like making conversation with the gym people I kind of know, but don't really. I don't like having to be on someone else's class schedule. I don't like the crowded cardio room and I HATE all the cardio equipment. I guess I'm just not a gym person. Who knew? Better question - WHY DID I NOT KNOW? I've been either going to or studiously avoiding gyms for the better part of the last 12 years. Why has it taken me this long to realize that I really just don't like them?
Coming to this conclusion sure made it a lot easier to cancel my gym membership, thus getting a leg-up on the financial aspect of Life Discipline C. Good riddance, gym.
But I still wasn't set. I knew that I didn't like going to a gym, and I wasn't going to waste time and money trying to force myself into that anymore. I knew that I HATED running, and let's be honest, there was no way I was going to try and force myself into that anyway. I have come to terms with my hatred for running a long time ago; for many years I believed those LIES the runners tell you - the lies about how once you "break through your threshold" it all gets better and suddenly, running tuns into this bucolic, euphoric experience - to this I say: LIES, YOU LYING LIARS. I ran cross-country in high-school and CONTINUED running into college just to try and find this "threshold" and let me tell you - for me, IT DOES NOT EXIST.
Swimming was out, because even though I really do love swimming (and it's awesome exercise) I knew that I wouldn't religiously drag myself to the local Y or the junior college pool every day to do laps. There are always weird time-restrictions and swim meets and swimming lessons and believe me when I tell you that the TINIEST kink in my exercise plans will result in me saying "hmm, too bad, guess I'll just go to Starbucks". Happily.
So no gym, no running, no swimming. Nothing that requires me to interact with preternaturally chipper morning exercisers or be on someone else's schedule. Nothing that involves horrible, tortuous cardio equipment. I felt like I was running out of options so I decided to go back to my roots. For the first 15 years of my life I was in great shape, well-exercised, and happy about it. What was I doing? Ballet. I was one of those SUPER serious ballet girls; the ones who have one class or another nearly every day and have their own lingo and sit together, chatting, while they tape their broken, mashed feet so that they can shove them back into pointe shoes. One of those girls who has recitals that literally take over her life, and legs she can lift over her head and enough pairs of pale pink Capezio tights to stock a small warehouse. I was one of those girls. And I LOVED ballet. I never felt like I was going to "exercise", I was going to dance. It was glorious. So ballet seemed like a potential option. But not really.
First of all, I'm not 15 anymore. And secondly, when I DID do ballet, it wasn't a hobby. I was pretty serious about it, and I was in some pretty advanced classes with some pretty major plans - until we moved to a town with NO good ballet studios when I was 15. I always tell people that ballet is the only thing at which I was ever REALLY naturally good. I once tried (I think I was 19 or so) to go back to ballet, just because I missed it so much, and it was absolutely humiliating. No longer could I stretch my leg into infinity, all the girls were younger, and when the instructor asked my age she suggested the Adult Ballet class. Gross. There was no way. Even though now, at 27, I seriously doubt I would feel the humiliation as much, I would still be subjected to class schedules, specialized equipment needs, and (worst of all) the chatty fellow exerciser. So no ballet. But maybe something LIKE ballet....
And that's how I fell for yoga. I had practiced yoga before, for almost a year actually, right when I moved back to my hometown in 2004. The gym I was a member of (again, with that pesky, omnipresent gym membership!) had recently started hosting yoga classes, and I thought I'd give it a try. I really enjoyed yoga a lot, even the Bikram practice we were doing at the gym, which requires the room to be heated to a minimum of 98 degrees with 40% humidity. You can pretty easily burn up to 600 calories in a 90 minute Bikram yoga class, and you sweat...umm...a LOT. Like, you walk out looking like you jumped into a swimming pool. There are many reasons for the heat (increased flexibility, increased heart rate, increased blood flow, removal of toxins) but suffice it to say, after your 40th downward facing dog "resting" pose, as your hands slide around in the STANDING water (well, sweat) on your mat, you either go to a "higher place" or get the heck out. I loved it. But then my gym canceled all yoga classes because of this hilarious story where the owner totally freaked out, busted in on an ONGOING yoga class, and started trying to EXORCISE DEMONS. Not sure how the demons fared, but the classes were sufficiently exorcised, and so that was the end of my brief affair with yoga.
At least until 5 or 6 months ago, when I had effectively ruled out just about every other type of exercise and decided I was just going to DO it already. I got on Amazon, researched a bunch of yoga videos, and ordered a couple. Fast-forward to today, and I have been practicing a mix of Bikram, Hatha, Vinyasa, and Ashtanga yoga and I absolutely love it. I do it just about every day, and it's totally easy because all I have to do is walk upstairs (where, unless we turn on the air, it's almost ALWAYS above 98 degrees), unroll my mat, turn on the DVD player, and have at it. I have little to no opportunity to make an excuse for why I "couldn't make it today", and when I travel I just pop a DVD or two into my bag and either bring my own mat or buy a cheap replacement. I have now incorporated actual studio (teacher-led) classes into my yoga practice, but I honestly don't feel like I have been missing out by doing it at home. Yoga is such a different type of exercise in that it (cue cheesy Zen music) really does require you to GET INSIDE YOUR OWN HEAD and make your body respond accordingly. Maybe this actually ISN'T a different type of exercise; maybe everybody who has found their "thing" feels the same way when they are running, or doing spin class or whatever. But for me, practicing yoga really does give me that whole mind-body connection, where I can THINK about going further in a pose, and then ACTUALLY do it. When otherwise I would have thought there was no way.
Today in class we had to do the crow pose, and while it actually isn't that hard, crow is one of those poses with which I really had a head issue. Let me see if I can find a picture -
Oooh, so now I really need to know which yoga DVDs you bought and whether you recommend them. I think you've about convinced me to take it up at home -- I too loved it the few times I did it, but the thought of going to a class now TOTALLY OUT OF PRACTICE seems a little humiliating. I think I need to...uh...REHEARSE first.
(PS: I also hate running. HATE. I think I can do it for about five minutes at a time, and it's not that I'm out of shape -- I can do the elliptical or the bike for 30 or so -- it's just that I get so BORED of running. Ugh. Hate.)
Posted by: Nothing But Bonfires | July 14, 2008 at 07:44 PM
Hahaha, exorcising demons? Oh wow. Were the police called to remove him from the premises? Man oh man. That made me laugh out loud, literally.
I'm just starting to get into yoga. I enjoy it, too!
Posted by: Angela | July 14, 2008 at 08:09 PM
Okay, wait.
Back the crow train up.
How do you get from, say, sitting on the floor like a normal human being, to doing that... thing? Or does someone have to put you in that position?
Posted by: Caustic Cupcake | July 14, 2008 at 08:56 PM
even with the title I had no clue where you were going.
I'm interested in yoga or some sort of low impact exercise because like you I hate running, and I'll do an eliptical if I absolutely have to...but yes, I think an inventory of what I need to do to feel healthy is in order.
Also thinking about cancelling my $60/month gym membership.
Posted by: "antoinette" | July 15, 2008 at 09:50 AM
While I have obviously conquered my running-love threshold and I also love gym spinning and weights classes, I agree. Yoga rocks. And nothing tones your upper body faster!
This was a hilarious and awesome post, by the way. Like yoga, you rock.
Posted by: Laurel | July 15, 2008 at 11:03 AM
First of all...I hate you. You are beautiful, hilarious, self-employed, and now you can do the "crow." Yep, I hate you.
In any case, I dislike the gym and runners too. The gym is always crowded and when I am there, I am just looking at the clock waiting for an hour to drag on by.
With running, I just get tried really fast and start huffing and puffing like I was a 2 pack-a-day smoker, when I am smoke-free. There is no "threshold," and besides I drive myself crazy with all that time to think.
My only natural ability is golf, but golf is not really exercise. That is why I keep saving my pennies for my future lipo or the stomach stappling thingy.
Posted by: rita | July 15, 2008 at 11:28 AM
I totally feel your pain with regard to gyms. I'm the same way. Running? Hate. Swimmng? Love. Walking (outside)? Eh. So-so. Treadmill? Boring.
What I did as a kid from age 4 to 13 was tap dance and I loved it and was in great shape. In my early 20s I went back to adult tap and had fun with that as well for a couple years. But since then I have pretty much been devoid of all activity, and it is showing. I need to find something I can do, too, that I actually enjoy and don't feel as if I am forcing myself to do it.
Posted by: Chiada | July 15, 2008 at 12:27 PM
Ohhhh, how I miss Bikram yoga. Alas, I cannot afford studio classes anymore. But man, I loved it. I need to start doing my DVDs again.
Posted by: velocibadgergirl | July 15, 2008 at 09:57 PM
That crow? Looks incredibly SERIOUS. I am your exercise opposite - I've always liked the machines, and running, but would love to try yoga. However it is very...how do you say...fricken intimidating!!! I feel like I should get in a few practice runs in the privacy of my own home where no one can smirk condescendingly when I cannot do the broken lotus pose. Or whatever.
Posted by: Jen | July 17, 2008 at 08:14 AM
Dude.
I have been Yoga-ing for a few years now and I still can't do the crow.
EFF THE CROW
EFF IT!
Posted by: Julie | July 18, 2008 at 12:51 PM
So far today, you have inspired me to:
a) watch Project Runway and
b) take up yoga.
And it's only 8:02 on Saturday morning!
Posted by: hawkgirl | July 19, 2008 at 11:04 AM
Ugh, I bought a couple yoga DVDs but have actually only done it ONCE. One of the problems is I can only do it in the living room and another is I am NEVER alone and am too self-conscious to do it in front of anyone. I can hardly imagine how hard the boys would laugh at Mom doing yoga. But I really want to get into a habit of doing it. I must figure out a way. Yep.
Posted by: Dory | July 20, 2008 at 11:40 PM