Either That Montage Just Takes Forever Or I'm An Internet Idiot

So I feel like I have a good friend who I haven't talked to in a while, and all these things have happened since the last time we talked, and every time something new and/or crazy happens I think "oh my goodness, I NEED to tell Friend this!" but then I think that I cant tell Friend right now, because I don't have time for a conversation of that length.  I'll call tomorrow.

And then tomorrow comes, and more crazy events transpire, and somewhere around two weeks later I resurface from the insanity and think "AHHH, I still haven't talked to Friend!"  Now the conversation is going to take hours.

Well, you are that friend, Internet.  I have so many things to tell you that I honestly don't even know where to begin.  First of all let me say that this summer has, bar none, been the weirdest time of my entire life.  Secondly, I have absolutely no idea how to fit this into one post so I was thinking maybe I would do bullet points (the lazy person's listmaker) and you can weigh in on subjects you want to hear more about/seem the most interesting.  How 'bout it?  Because otherwise I can guarantee you that this will degenerate into a ridiculously long, rambling, disjointed mess of a post, and I honestly can't even say that I would read that.  

So let's all play along and here are the bullet points of things that have gone on since May that I need to tell you about and haven't (ETA: Now a numbered list with pictures!  Everyone has been doing that Flickr montage and while I wanted to do it too [and still may] at least you now get a numbered list with visual interest!):

1. Lost my appetite completely and with no warning; lost about 14 pounds in two months*
2. Spent a week and a half on vacation in Los Angeles - the first half by myself completely, and the second half surrounded by a whole host of interesting characters doing interesting things at interesting places
3. Quit eating fast food completely
4. Got the Death Flu but it only lasted two days, one of which was handily the date of the biggest event of the summer for my boutique, so that was fun
5. Went back to Los Angeles for work and ended up doing about two weeks worth of social stuff in three days time
6. Quit eating sugar almost completely
7. Met a girl while in LA who is from a tiny East Texas town about 35 miles from where I live - we knew many of the same people and remarked on how strangely small the world can be
8. Cody's dad started having major neck/spine issues, which quickly deteriorated to the point where he was partially paralyzed on the right side, leading everyone to completely freak out and him to get scheduled for emergency spinal surgery, which he had yesterday (7/1/08)
9. Cody's grandpa (his dad's dad) went into the SAME hospital on the SAME night as Cody's dad, because Grandpa BROKE HIS NECK - the neurologist got confused and saw the wrong patient because there were two Mr. Carters in the same hospital on the same night in for largely the same reason - felt like I was living in the Twilight Zone
10. Have become somewhat the main go-to person for Cody's grandpa because obviously Cody's mom and dad have been SOMEWHAT DISTRACTED, what with the partial paralysis and emergency spinal surgery and all
11. Quit eating most processed foods completely
12. Saw Alison Sweeney (Sami from Days of Our Lives, for the non-soap opera crowd) walking to her car and made fun of her because she was all dressed up and from a distance she looked like a teenager going to prom. At 4 in the afternoon on a Friday.  Then I saw who it actually was and thought "oh good, she isn't a skinny little stick!" She looks normal
13. Went to a Death Cab for Cutie concert randomly; it was weird
14. Went on several hikes
15. Missed my friends at home while I was gone; wished that I could intermingle my worlds - move my house and friends out to a big city or move the city here
16. Became hopelessly and totally re-addicted to chips and salsa.  Weight loss of past two months is being reversed almost solely by the power of corn and tomatoes
17. Went out to a whole host of places in and around Los Angeles; some uber trendy, some kind of underground, some in between
18. Have learned an awful lot about neck braces, how they work, and how they DON'T work
19. Have consumed my weight x3 in green tea
20. Celebrated Cody's birthday with a really fun night of live music outside IN MY HOMETOWN, can you believe it?  Because I can't
21. Hosted three (THREE) baby showers
22. Have done yoga almost every day
23. Went to a "recycled" clothing store in Studio City with my sister-in-law and came away with three pairs of high-end shoes, two shirts, a pair of linen trousers, and a pair of straight-leg designer jeans and spent less than $150.  Wow
24. Figured out that my dog ate half a square of Baker's Chocolate, had a mild freak out and then realized it would be yet another item to add to my Vet Bills Spreadsheet - watch out, OPH! (And RA - are you proud of me for having a spreadsheet?)
25. Watched helplessly as my house (both outside and now in) has become inundated with tiny ants - have been plotting and will wage Ant War Strike I this evening
26. Have been doing about 18 loads of laundry and (#27) cleaning house to get ready for our annual 4th of July lake extravaganza where any and everyone we know comes to town to hang out, float in the lake, (#28) drink adult beverages, play volleyball, mess around on boats and jetskis, and have an all around awesome (#29) Texas lake celebration. Come!
27. (Actually #30 - THANKS FOR NOTHING, AUTOFORMAT) Got to see my best friend and her brand new baby girl on the day she gave birth.  So sweet

Want to know details about any of the above?  Let me know in the comments!  I'll be happy to spin a long, rambling tale about any of those events.  Had your fill?  That's fine too - just enjoy the pictures because that montage took FOREVER.  What is with people "not subscribing" to the Flickr mosaic maker?  DON'T THEY KNOW HOW LONG I SEARCHED FOR THAT PICTURE?

*I wish I could take credit for some incredible measure of self-control I used to quit the sugar, fast food, etc.  Unfortunately for me, I have no such self-control and the only reason I was able to get out of those bad eating habits was because I had already lost my appetite and therefore felt no desire to eat ANYTHING, including my beloved fast food.  Once you get out of the habit it's not so hard, and so thanks to extreme amounts of stress, I have become a healthier eater.  I should write a dieting book.  It could be alternately titled "How To Develop An Eating Disorder".

Comments

[Dingo]

You lost 14 pounds inexplicably? Um, in addition to your crazy, social, stressful schedule:

Quit eating fast food completely
Got the Death Flu
Quit eating most processed foods completely
Went on several hikes
Have consumed my weight x3 in green tea
Have done yoga almost every day.

The only reason I point this out is because I really, really like you and if you had lost 14 pounds for no reason at all I would have to hate you. I don't want to hate you.

P.S. Please keep up posted on the Dad and Granddad.

[elise]

Dingo, you are both wise and lovely. I have edited my post to reflect the validity of your point ;)

[Jen]

ZOMG. WTF:::::??? Elise, so, so sorry to hear about your father-in-law and grandfather-in-law. It is so stressful to have one relative in the hospital, um, never mind two?!!! AND you did yoga every day? Well bless your heart. And your friend is very lucky to have someone like you in her life. It's truly amazing that in the midst of all this craziness you were able to be with her on the day she gave birth. I really hope you have an awesome time on the July 4 party; you deserve it.

[Operation Pink Herring]

I'm so sorry about all the crappy stuff... I hope things are slowly moving back to normal! But sorry, I think I'm still winning on the spreadsheet... Max has just completed week #4 of KITTY CHEMO. Take that, Lydah! (She's OK, right?) I vote to hear more about the dog, as always.

[Operation Pink Herring]

And I forgot: ZOMG YOU SAW SAMI??? I bet she's a total bitch in real life. I'd be so disappointed if you said she was nice and normally dressed. OF COURSE she was decked out in a prom dress at 4 in the afternoon. It's Sami!

[Noelle]

Wow, that sounds like enough living for a year, let alone a month. Did you get any rest at all?

["antoinette"]

what an insane schedule. And of course I get away thinking, "well how can I lose 14lbs/stop eating fast food/sugar/processed foods/lose my appetite!??"

missed you, get some rest. I'm tired just reading it.

[Amy]

I lost my appetite once, too, during my freshman year of college. But then I gained it back a year later. The weight loss was fun while it lasted!

[Laurel]

I want to hear about Sami Brady!

I love Days Of Our Lives and I'm not afraid to admit it!

[Julie]

I wish I could give up sugar.....

And don't forget that you guest blogged on not one but 2 awesome blogs.

[alyndabear]

Good lord Elise, I'm knackered just reading that!!!! Damn. Amazing stuff. Look at the cute baby!!!

[RA]

Yes, I am proud of your spreadsheet! Just wait - they will take over your life, and it will be a happy, happy time.

[janet]

okay, your life is crazy! this post makes me feel soooooooooooo boring. I should do something exciting. Maybe one day soon.

[Deb on the Rocks]

Wow!

I've been working on my tan. And almost finished a novel! Reading it, I mean!

[Jenny, Bloggess]

I have got to stop eating. Fatsuck 2008 is not working. I need to do whatever it is that you're doing.