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February 27, 2008


Another Blog Share Participant

I'm so sorry you went through this. With any problems I ever had with my parents, I always knew that if I ever REALLY needed them, they would be there. I'm sorry you didn't have that.


did I anonymously write this??
(no i didn't, but I could've.)

Me too

My mother never apologized either. Her mistakes weren't the same as the ones your mother made, but they were serious. An apology would have made a difference.

Sauntering Soul

Wow, I'm sorry you grew up this way. I want to give you a big hug whoever you are.


Oh man, do I love my mother right now. I'm so sorry you had/have to deal with this.


I have called my mother on some of the mean things she has said to me, and her response is always, "Well, someone needed to say it." No, they really didn't. I am sorry you have had to go through this.


Oh my. This guest posting..it's truly beautiful. That was so powerful and touching.


Wow, this is such a powerful post. I can relate on so many levels. Thank you for sharing.



The line "I am my own harshest critic and your words cut me to my core" is probably one of the most powerful and true things I have ever read. So well put, and unfortunately accurate for many, many women.

Thanks for posting this.


My mother didn't do the same horrible mistakes as yours did - but the rest of your post could just as well have been mine.
During my mother's last year I made a couple of attempts to speak to her about all the things that had hurt me so much, especially in my youth. I gave up soon enough because she was still firm in her belief that all her doings had been for my best.
Thank you for posting this - you put my thoughts into words beautifully!


Holy shit! I cannot believe a mother would do those things to her child...no wonder why you defied authority and are your own harshest critic - there was no one to show you any different and you modeled your behavior from what you were living with.

In my own way, I too have felt this guilt with my mom, but now I can say I am actually LUCKY and BLESSED that my mother has not said or done things like which you have quoted. I've been pretty hard on her...and yes, she's equally hard on me and we struggle to find and define ourselves in each others lives.

I think part of "growing up" IS accepting that we will and cannot ever make our parents completely happy, but it was NEVER our job. Our lives are our own...and hopefully we can share them and special moments with the people who brought us into this world, but if not, do not let them keep you from obtaining whatever you dream for yourself.

Thank you for sharing this...and even though she may not get it, respond how you want, or even care, think about sending this to your mom. Some day she may wake up and see what she has done...if not, maybe that could be your fond farewell to know you gave it your all before moving on.

Good luck.


I can feel the hurt and frustration all the way over here. I'm very sorry for what you've gone through, but you seem to be headed in the right direction. Be true to yourself and protect yourself first, because your mother seems to be incapable or unwilling to do that for you. She must be a really unhappy person to treat you so poorly.

Hang in there.


I'm sorry to hear about the mom troubles. It's not fair for you to be treated that way, and I hope one day she realises that.


I've known this person IRL since we were three and I'd like to add that she should be proud of herself for being able to make friends in the first place. She certainly didn't have role model in that regard. She's actually incredibly blessed to have turned out as regular as she did. I mean, she could TOTALLY be living the dream: teenage burnout, all grown up with a kamillion tatoos and a meth problem, blowing strange dudes at the Lynyrd Skynyrd show in the men's bathroom for a PBR, hoping her "old man" doesn't catch her so she can still ride back home to their double wide on the back of his Harley where her 8 y/o granddaughter is babysitting her 2 y/o twins.


You've inspired me. When talking with my boys, I am going to take a great big deep breath, breeeeeathe, and not be harsh and hurrying.

Very often I felt that everything else was important to my Mom except spending time with me. I always felt like an incredible burden, and I want my boys to feel wanted.

Another blog share participant

Woah. I just have to say, in case it hasn't already sunk in for you, that this is your MOTHER's fault, not yours. Don't ever let her make you feel differently.


I can relate to this because my father and I had a difficult relationship - luckily my mom and I see pretty eye to eye, especially now that we're so much older.

My dad and I did reach a good understanding in his old age - he lived to be 92 and I'd say over the last 20 years of his life we got along well. He mellowed with age. I hope your mom does too.


I've said it before and I'll say it again, you should have to get a license before becoming a mother. Sorry you had to go through all that crap!


I can understand why your mother's behavior hurts you so much. I'm glad that you like yourself, though, and that you've found comfort and self-esteem through other relationships and from your own strength. That is quite a feat. You are a very strong woman, indeed.

blogging barbie

honey. i am absolutely floored by this entry. first of all, i want to thankyou for writing and sharing this...i know that it couldn't have been easy.

like elise, this line: "I am my own harshest critic and your words cut me to my core" is probably one of the most powerful and true things I have ever read.

you are an amazing, intelligent and beautiful woman, with so much to offer. i know the words of other sometimes make it hard to realize that fact and believe in what we know to be true, but please...know that there are so many people who are in awe of you and your sense of strength and how beautifully you've weathered the storm.

you, are a true inspiration, and i am lucky to "know" you. please, don't ever let anyone ever tell you differently- parent or not. i know its so hard (my relationship with my dad lends to this understanding) but you, my woman are so dserving of the best life has to offer, and should be proud to hold your head up high.

love you lady.

xoxo, bb


I love this idea of blogging on some else's blog. I'm sure you were able to say things here that maybe you didn't put on your own blog and maybe this 'purge' ...for lack of a better word...helps YOU out. It certainly helped me in a lot of ways. Sounds trite but these things...these are things that make us stronger and by the sound of this...you are very strong.


I can't say I can empathize, but certainly I can sympathize. What a beautiful post. It made me cry.

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