****And the beat goes on****
No more whining coming from over here. The official stance of the House of Carter is that Lydah is going to be fine; will heal and will recover. The end!
(If you keep saying it, it will become true - right?)
Kitters, on the other hand, will have to rest in peace, but I think that's alright because she was at least 117 years old, in the feline world. That's a nice long life and I can only imagine that if I were 117 years old and forced to live outside on the back porch I would probably be ready to throw in the towel as well.
****Best search keywords from last month****
This time, I found the "how to" questions and the confessions ("I did activity X") to be the most interesting. Some examples? Sure!
1. "how to deal with a guest that lost his keys"
I actually feel uniquely qualified to answer this, not because I often host guests who lose their keys, but because as the wife of Cody, I have often been the guest who has lost their keys. I'd say your best bet is to either crack open another drink and make the best of it, or (if you're really sick of us), offer to drive us home with lots of assurances that the keys will turn up somewhere the next day. And roll your eyes a lot. I hear eye-rolling works well in situations such as these. Cody LOVES it.
2. "how to bite girls toenails if I am the girl"
Hmm. I have no problem biting my own toenails, and so I can't see why you're having such a tough time with it. Maybe more yoga or something?
3. "how to store headbands organize"
You seem to have answered your own question there, smarty.
4. "how to poison my husbands dog"
My gosh. It's like you have no tact. Either that, or you haven't even been READING what's been going on around here lately. Poor Lydah is all hurt and dying getting better and healing and all you can talk about is finding ways to kill dogs. Well, if you MUST, I'd try feeding your husband's dog some fancy canned pet food from the pet food recall. I think that'll do the trick nicely. And you'll come off as the kind and caring doggy mommy, who only wanted little Fido to have some special treats.
And now for the confessions:
1. "I go motions sickness on the airplane and puked in the air sick bag and my self"
Gross.
2. "I got motion sickness on a airplane and puked on a flight attedent"
Again, gross! Also, you sound like you've got a nasty cold. Go blow your nose before typing anything else.
3. "I walk around nude in front of my baby sitter"
Wow! Opportunistic little gal/guy!
4. "I'm a pretty pony clippity-clop dragonrealms and I love to have my coat brushed"
Where to start? First of all, I seriously doubt that you're a pony at all. I mean, let's get real. Ponies aren't well-known for trolling the Internet, typing vain phrases about themselves into search engines. You just don't have the hooves for it. Secondly, as we've already established that you're more than likely NOT a pony, we don't even need to get into the ridiculous arrogance and fallacy that lies within the whole "pretty" thing. So there we go. You aren't a pony, you DEFINITELY are not a "pretty" pony, and while I will admit to being confused about the "clippity-cliop dragonrealms" part of your message, I'll go ahead and call foul on that as well. Clippity-clop sounds suspiciously like you're trying to emulate pony noises, which really makes the whole thing even MORE pathetic, as we've already all agreed that you are NOT a pony. Stop trying so hard. And you like to get your coat brushed? Really? After all of this? You're still claiming to have a coat?
It's sad, is what it is. Sad.
What are the best search phrases you've seen this month?
That last one is the best Google search I've ever seen. Ever.
Posted by: Operation Pink Herring | December 20, 2007 at 12:41 PM
Mine was "oldman fucking tinn."
I'm ashamed that I was the first link google offered.
You win.
Posted by: Tilly | December 20, 2007 at 01:09 PM
I have never had something as hilarious as that final phrase. Wow. Whatever you're doing on this blog, you are doing SOMETHING right!
My best series of searches came after I confessed my love for Hannah Montana. It yielded a lot of hits from anxious preteens trying to figure out if Hannah would like their outfit or would "kiss a guy two years younger" than her.
Posted by: Laurel | December 20, 2007 at 02:38 PM
"I'm a pretty pony clippity-clop dragonrealms and I love to have my coat brushed"
What?! That is awesome. Recently I had one for "virginia marsden naked," and sadly for them, they didn't get what they were looking for. I don't even know who Virginia Marsden is, but she sounds sort of risque.
Posted by: Virginia | December 20, 2007 at 08:15 PM
That last one there about the pony was probably the best and most disturbing one yet. People are strange.
Posted by: Lindsey | December 20, 2007 at 10:28 PM
So sorry I missed hearing about Lydah - but I'm glad she is going to be okay.
Your post has reminded me that I need to do a Google-age -- maybe one day when I'm bored in THE UK, OMG.
Posted by: alyndabear | December 21, 2007 at 02:55 AM
wow you get some interesting searches. and you have readers that think they're ponys? very, very interesting indeed. lol
Posted by: Michelle & the City | December 21, 2007 at 01:12 PM
My friend's family has a dog in the same situation (with regards to the joints, anyway), only several years older. They try to keep her from being too rough on her joints and have her rest when she's been too hard on herself. So far, she's still a pretty happy pooch. She will occasionally overdo it (and it's pretty easy to tell when that happens), but she's certainly not in constant pain. She is still living a happy doggy life. There is hope!
If you want to talk with them in more detail about how they're helping her cope, I can certainly get you in contact with them.
Posted by: Teacher A | December 22, 2007 at 12:25 AM