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June 18, 2007



The first time I ever got called in for jury duty I ended up on a domestic abuse case where the girlfriend staunchly defended her boyfriend. There's really nothing you can do in that case. I didn't know what to think of that either.


Dispite their crappy image, the nice thing about the LAPD is that they now take it in their own hands to arrest the abuser even if the abusee doesn't want to press charges.


I think, very often it is that before this particular act, the man has beaten the very life out of the woman, she no longer believes she has any chance without his abusive self, she believes that as rotten as HE is, she is worse, useless, doomed to a life of worthlessness without him. If she dares to 'tell' she will have nothing, will not be able to cope. Anyway...he will get out and come back and THEN she will be sorry. Also....financially how will she cope? Maybe ( probably) he has had complete control of all the money,because you know, she is stupid and not trustworthy and can't do anything...she NEEDS him, fists and all because she is nothing.
Give him long enough, a man who is as abusive as this one sounds....he will make his woman believe all his lies, by now she is completely ruined.I saw my sister beaten this low by her husband. One day though the worm may turn. Hopefully she will see that she CAN do it on her own, hopefully one day she will feel a spark of righteous indignation and FIGHT THE SCUMBAG back.
I do sympathise although I always feel such rage that women can be made to feel so worthless that a physical beating becomes nothing more than a daily chore to be endured. Maybe someone will slam that drunks head in a car door one day soon, we can but hope.


Opps, should have said that one day....now 18 years ago...my sister literally woke up and had a WTF? moment. She left, with 4 children. She is now married to a man who personifies patience and oozes gentleness. Stil, there are remnants of that battered girl left, her husband now just waits and patiently accepts that he gets the legacy from the first one. He pays for the meanness of the first one, I'm not sure she will ever trust this new man, who is integrity itself, who is loyal and kind. She is convinced, still, all these years later that she is worthless and so why would any man, especially a good one stick around? These men do more than beat the body, they scar the soul.


On a scale of lightheartedness (with "1" being Easy, Breezy, Beautiful Covergirl and "10" being the Republican National Convention), this post went from a solid 1 1/2 to a 12 in like two sentences. That's some skill right there.

Not prepared to jump into the abuse discussion before I've had a shower, I'll simply say that I was disappointed to see your parents' house was only temporarily abandoned. For a minute there I was really excited to hear that story.


I just told Erin that my new plan is to just throw some post-resembling words up here and wait for her to comment.

I think we can all get on board with that, right?


My husband wants a Wii very badly but I'm not convinced. Afterall, the tiny amount of video game skill I acquired as a child is now defunct. I fail spectacularly in all games, save tetris...I rule at tetris. Plus if Colin gets a Wii who will play the nintendo DS and hours of poker online? I think he needs to think of his responsibility to our current entertainment outlets. (I have a feeling it's only a matter of time before the Wii joins our family. I hope a point-and-click system works better for me than the standard.)

Pertaining to the abused female, I think some people think they deserve to be misrable for whatever reason.. I can't understand that way of thinking because there's no way in hell I would put up with that behavior in my life. I've known of women who go from one abuser to the next, trading bad for worse, throughout their lives. It's a bit pathetic. Hopefully they wake up before it's too late. I feel the worst for children in those situations. You can't force a person to change but it still sucks that the perfect opportunity came along and that woman refused to teach her ass of a "man" a lesson. I think being a cop would make me lose a lot of faith in people in general.


having seen women, very personally, who are involved in the abuse cycle, i know it's heartbreaking. that's what's so hard about the abuse cycle - it's a cycle. people get out, and the women that do are my personal heroes. but most women don't. they don't when they're kids, they don't when they're dad is beating the sh*t out of their mom, and they don't when they are with a man that beats the sh*t out of them.

it's a really hard thing to witness.

Chaos Control

Some women have heard their abusers tell them so many times that they will kill them and/or their children if they report the abuse that they believe them. Who knows ... this woman could have feared for her life and/or that of any kids she might have. Very, very sad.


Wow. Just, wow. I would have been stunned, too, to see that where I live.

When I was a kid, my mom stopped a couple having a violent argument at an ice-cream place, and asked the girl if she needed a ride. Years later, as a college student, some friends and I saw a woman running down the road in her nightgown. We stopped. She called the cops, we waited at the house with her. She called her parents across the country, we waited. Finally, we took her to the bus station, ticket in hand. Her family sent us a note to thank us, and I still wonder if she made it all the way there, if she made it at all.


Holy crap, I'm jealous. I've been begging my parents for a Wii. I LOVE Super Mario Brothers.


there's so much about our culture that is about "enabling" and being weak. it's about time people just stand up and take responsibility for their lives. i find it hard to feel sorry for anyone not willing to do that and it seems they get what they deserve.

sounds sick, but there's no other way to rationalize it. crappy life? tough shit; very little of our choices are out of our control.

Teacher A

1. The Wii is awesome!

2. I don't get it either. I mean, I know the reasons people give, but they just don't like enough (but that is probably a good sign, as it means that I wouldn't put up with that sort of situation).


Fear makes women lie for the men they hope will love them. Either that or the fact that we're so used to men treating women like crap that we figure we've got it coming. Not me, of course. Forty years ago a man who beat his wife at home might get the police called on him, but once he informed them that he was simply having trouble teaching the "little woman" a lesson about obedience, the police would chalk it up to a DOMESTIC DISTURBANCE and leave. it's no suprise that when a wife/mother goes missing, the husband/boyfriend is always the first suspsect. It's also no surprise that homicide is the most common form of death (in this country) for pregnant women or new mothers. I'm not trying to come off as a man basher, but truth is truth...even when it's an inconvenient one (thanks, Al Gore!). How did we get here and when is it going to change?


Yeah, I'm with Erin. I was all prepared to make a pithy comment about how fun it is (er, was) to get high and play Mario Kart, and then the BEATING started. Jesus.

I served on a jury for a trial that never happened that seemed to be a similar case. The wife/girlfriend was the only witness for the prosecution, and she fled rather than testify. No case.


Everyone who mentioned how they break the will to live of the wife/girlfriend is right. They start to believe that's what they deserve, and the beating is actually love, and why not defend this person who is so adamantly loving you? Why this happens is a mystery.

Now... how do you download games onto your Wii? If it's hooked up to the Intraweb? I need to be playing some Mario Kart. Stat.

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