Mystery: Solved!

Life has gone back to normal around here, and I didn't even have to implement my plan of going door to door under the guise of trick-or-treating and interrogating my neighbors about the red cup.  Also, I am no longer worried about random strangers entering my home and making drinks at will, or that I have suddenly started sleepwalking with an insatiable thirst for buttery OJ.

Since this was the first Halloween in the past 7 years that I have lived in a house (yea!) it was also the first time we really got to prepare for trick-or-treaters.  Cody picked up a monster bag of candy at the store, we had our carved jack-o-lanterns ready on the porch, and I even left work a pinch early just to make sure we got home in time for the little costumed kids of cuteness.  After about 30 minutes of nothing, I got worried that maybe we were the scorned house, the one that parents advise their children to avoid.  "Remember, honey, those are the people who didn't even feel it necessary to install a lawn until after they had lived here for several months.  Would you want candy from someone like that?  I didn't think so.  Yes, you are better than them!  Good for you."  However, by the end of the night we had a measly three pieces of candy left from the 10lb bag and were digging through our wallets for one dollar bills in case of emergency candy failure.  And the costumed cuteness, it was present and accounted for.  We had witches, a whole bunch of football players, the grim reaper twice, Dorothy, Toto, and the Cowardly Lion, two kids in fat suits, and a gambit of Lord of the Rings characters and random goblins.

But the jack-o-lanterns - they did not fare as well.  I have to admit that this was entirely my fault, because upon hearing that Cody had never carved a jack-o-lantern in his life, I got so excited about the endeavor that I dragged him to pick out pumpkins LAST FRIDAY.  As in, 11 days before Halloween.  Now that timeline could have worked, potentially, if we would have merely picked out but not carved our pumpkins 11 days before Halloween.  But, what would you guess that we did?

I insisted that we carve them rightthen.  And carve them we did.  I actually have pictures, and if I can locate my camera (which is as much of a mystery disappearer and reappearer as the red cup, really) then I will post them.  I carved an evil looking cat, and Cody, inspired by our pumpkin-surgery music of choice, carved a rock-star looking guy with his tongue sticking out.  About halfway through the carve I began to suspect that Cody had, in fact, carved pumpkins before, and by the end his Chris Cornell-o-lantern was so perfect that I knew it.  "You liar!  You had me so excited, thinking you were a jack-o-lantern virgin!  Now I feel so used!" He assured me that it really was his first time, which in turn led me to declare that it was my first time too.  Just to keep the romance alive, you know.

Anyway, because our pumpkins had been sitting, in all their feline and rocker glory, on the porch for over a week, by last night they were emanating a serious kind of funky smell.  At first I suggested that maybe it wasn't that bad, that the kids would all be wearing...masks!  And probably won't notice!  But then Cody had me walk up the driveway and sidewalk and note the exact location where my nostrils first felt accosted by the stench.  Since the location in question was determined to be just east of our across-the-street neighbors mailbox and just west of, say, Louisiana, we decided to dispose of the pumpkins, making the entire carving escapade a bit of a loss.

Unless I can find those pictures.

Comments

[warcrygirl]

I did the opposite, I didn't even buy our pumpkins until Monday night; I managed to carve a very good spider and pirate skull. I had two beautiful jack-o-lanterns for Halloween night...and for the rest of the week as well. Let's just hope they don't meet the same messy middle-of-the-street demise my pumpkins did last year. Happy NaBloPoMo!

[Helen]

Ewwww I carved 2 last week and they looked ok but when I went to move them they exploded and the smell? OMG the smell....it made me physically and quite violently heave. Never again, I will never carve before the 30th again, ever. the smell is still up my nose, even after changing a poopie pull up.

[Susan]

We bought pre-carved jack-o-lanterns (because we're LAAAAZY) which also didn't make it to the actual holiday. But ours didn't smell, they just turned black. BLACK!

Gross.

(Seriously--WHERE DID THE CUP COME FROM?)