Alone! Or, Don't Rent Cars From Midway Rental Agency

California doesn't like me this month. 

You see, I come out here fairly often.  In fact, upon closer examination of my frequent flier account, I come out here nearly every 6-8 weeks.  Just like a root-touch up!  I get a little card from the state of California, reminding me that hey, we haven't seen you in a while, isn't it time for your next appointment?

Usually, I would venture to guess, you don't even notice that I've gone.  I fly out here, do my business, and fly back home, normally in a couple of days, and normally without incident.  Certainly nothing postworthy.

Well, my friends, I have been here for a staggering 14 hours, and already it ranks as possibly the worst traveling experience I have had, to date.

Realize that when I say "worst traveling experience" I include the time I flew to El Salvador, had my plane delayed 8 hours in the Miami airport, and arrived at the San Salvador airport in the middle of the night, alone, armed only with the warnings I had received to "never be alone after sunset" and the knowledge that the bus I was supposed to take to the little port town of La Union had come and gone. 
And, did I mention, the bus only comes to San Salvador once a week?  Yeah, once a week, every Saturday, from 12-6, the bus sits at the airport and loads up passengers to take them out to La Union.  If you miss the bus, there's really no problem, unless you mind waiting AN ENTIRE WEEK to get to where you're meant to be.  What, you had something to do?  Oh well, we're Latin Americans, and you should probably reeeelaxx, anyway.  Which is true, we should, but a week?  With no hotel, and no money for one?  And a limited Spanish vocabulary?  Alone?  As an 18 year old gringa?

Anyway, all that was nothing compared to yesterday.
 
First - well, FIRST, I can't even think of what was first.  Basically, no one could take me to the airport, I missed my plane, my bags missed the other plane, I couldn't stay with either of my brothers or my brother's girlfriend (because apparently her roommate is so completely psychotic that she has drawn up a "house charter" which entails that no one, at any time, can spend the night at the house. Not even Mary's poor brother, who was recently traveling cross-country and had nowhere else to stay), so I had to book a hotel alone (which I hate and always makes me feel lonely and depressive). 

I reserved a rental car which was guaranteed to have a shuttle from the airport to the rental agency but actually did not, and after standing (alone!) outside LAX for around 45 minutes waiting for the Shuttle That Is Not, I finally discovered that hey, I have to take the Radisson Hotel shuttle, who would have guessed that a HOTEL SHUTTLE TAKES YOU TO A RENTAL CAR AGENCY??  And then I (alone again, are we seeing a theme) drag my two huge rolling bags and my laptop and my purse and myself down about 3 city blocks worth of sidewalk to the Hotel Shuttle Line, and wait another 20 minutes for the shuttle to arrive.  It finally does, and sensing my impending relief, the lovely state of California delivered me another swift kick in the gut as I found myself standing outside the Radisson Hotel, alone again, the shuttle having departed to the NEXT Radisson Hotel on the schedule, because hey!  We go to several Radisson Hotels, and it's up to you to determine which one houses the rental car agency!  That's the Radisson way. 

I wait another 15 minutes for the next shuttle to arrive, drag all my crap up the shuttle stairs again, and interrogate the driver as to where, exactly, this ubiquitous rental car agency is, exactly.  He assures me that it is the next stop, and I sigh, wait for my sign, and lug my bags etc. into another hotel (which, coincidentally, looks EXACTLY like the last hotel).  I find an employee who wonders if I would like to check in and when I inform him that no, all I want is my car, he gives me an exceedingly puzzled look. 
"Car?  Hmmm....where did you say you were getting a car from?"   
I am horrified as I explain that the rental car agency is supposed to be HERE, I was told it was INSIDE THE RADISSON, and he does that supremely annoying hotel employee thing of sighing, rolling his eyes, and saying "Oh, Midway, you were supposed to have a car reserved from Midway.  Yes, they have an office inside the hotel, but they close every evening at 7pm".  And then he shot me a look that clearly said I should have known all of that already, and that I had put him out by having him waste his time explaining. 

I remark that closing at 7pm doesn't seem quite reasonable, does it, given the fact that LOTS OF FLIGHTS ARRIVE AFTER 7PM, INCLUDING MINE.  A fact which I was required to enter into the Midway Rental Car system when I RESERVED MY CAR.  The hotel employee looks even more annoyed, and suggests that I might find it more convenient, next time, to reserve from a 24-hour agency?  And, after punching him 100 times in the face, I reply that yes, that would be more convenient, and you know what else would be convenient?  MIDWAY NOT ADVERTISING THAT THEY ARE A 24-HOUR AGENCY. 

I then proceed to get drawn into one of those horrible circular conversations where I ask him what he thinks I ought to do, and he gives me completely obvious suggestions that only rival their obviousness with their unhelpfulness.  After he tells me that really the only thing to do is to wait for yet another shuttle to take me BACK TO THE AIRPORT, I feel as if maybe, just maybe, this trip is not going to be a good one. 

I finally get back to the airport, albeit not anywhere near where the Rental Car Shuttles go, and have to drag my stuff, which is now feeling like 678 pounds or so, another several blocks or so, just so that I can end up EXACTLY WHERE I WAS WAITING OVER AN HOUR BEFORE. 

As you can imagine, I could go on.  And on.  But in the interest of, well, preventing me from committing a mortal sin, I will just sum the rest up.  I tried not one, not two, but THREE rental car agencies, all with the requisite shuttle ride to and from the airport included, until I found an agency with A) a car to rent and B) last-minute prices that only financially molested me, rather than going all the way with a full-blown monetary rape. 

After hearing my sad tale, the rental agency employee wondered if next time I might avoid all this trouble by just reserving a car at a 24-hour agency?  I left him crying on the floor, got my car, and arrived at my hotel a short while later, where I was promptly informed that it would cost me $19 dollars PER NIGHT to park, a fact that was conveniently left out in advertisement.  But why shouldn't it cost me over $60 bucks to leave my car on a tiny spot of asphalt while I sleep in a ROOM THAT I ALREADY PAID FOR?   Obviously! 

The poor hotel check-in man was terrified of me, I think, as I'm sure I was sporting the most pissed off, livid look possible on my tired and miserable face and probably looked like death warmed over.   He tried to check me in so quickly that he ended up having to call up to my room just as I was about to crawl into bed.  "I'm so sorry, ma'am," he said.  "I forgot to imprint your credit card.  I was trying to get you up to your room quickly so you could sleep...you just looked so....ummm..."
I cut him off there, saying that I would be down in a minute to give him the card, and not to worry about it.

And then?  I got stuck in the elevator.

Comments

[Jerri Ann]

You poor dear. I hope things look up from here, I can't imagine how they have much choice but to get better!

[markira]

This is horrific. Having dealt with the bureaucratic idiocy of car rental agencies on more than one memorable situation, I have total sympathy. Particularly when you are dragging multiple items with you that weigh over a combined ton.

And yes, I DO miss you while you are gone. So there.

Hugs,
mk

[elise]

Gah, I hope so. I am honestly scared to leave the hotel room. If I just stay in bed the whole trip then nothing bad can happen.

Except, of course, the fact that no work will get done and my store will have no inventory and we will go broke and I will fail.

I need therapy, now.

[elise]

Oh, Markira, you could have no idea how much better that makes me feel. I so needed a hug.

[Cassie]

Wow, Elise, I'm so sorry! You poor thing! Maybe the trip that started off so badly will end very well, with lots of fabulous inventory and the car rental people groveling at your feet, begging for forgiveness. Okay...so that last thing's not likely to happen, but things can only get better, right?

[Amy]

Oh no! I'm so sorry. And to think I was texting you about envelopes!

[CJ]

LMAO!!! Are you sure it was only 678 pounds? You poor thing! LOL makes my mammogram seem like a tea party! lmao!

[wordgirl]

I don't know what I would do if I had to fly somewhere...ANYWHERE...every 6-8 weeks. Probably, I would cry a lot.

[beck]

On behalf of this horrible state, I would like to apologize. At the very least, I hope it's sunny where you are because you certainly deserve a better welcome than the one you got. And $19 to park your CAR!?!? What the HECK is up with that!?

[Your underinformed Brother.]

Well what you SHOULD have done is called ME and TOLD me that you were going to be a mere half hour away from me. But I had to randomly find out from my informed brother that you were going to be in town. What you ran into was a case of bad karma. That's all.

[elise]

Well, UB, I didn't even know that I was going to be here until less than a week ago.

And I know I could have called you or IB, or IB's girlfriend, but I am a big girl and I felt that it was necessary for me to at least try and stick the whole horrible thing out and not run crying for help.

But believe me, if the ordeal would have lasted about 25 more minutes, I would have lost all my pride and you would have gotten a tearful phone call.

By the way, are you going out with me tomorrow night? Because you better be.

[janet]

I'm not quite sure how I missed this post but OMG I hope you have recovered! If I could have, I would have delivered you a giant (fill in the blank alcoholic beverage)!