Aaand, I Lost You

Fire up the crazy wagon, folks.  I'm ready to go.

All day today I have been in the worst possible mood.  Nothing is good, everything is bad, and everyone is stupid.  And annoying.

I know what you're thinking.  Crazy females and their crazy bodies and their crazy cycles.  But no.  That isn't it.  I could prove this to you by going into great and anatomically correct detail, but I imagine that you (and my brothers - hi!) would really rather me skip it.  So just trust me.  That's not the problem

However!  (And this is where you might sign off, forever filing me away as a total lunatic)  I do believe that I have found a possible answer to these unexplained major mood swings.

Today is October 6, 2006.  Tonight is a full moon.  (See, I knew you were gonna roll your eyes.  Bear with me.)  Anyway, the moon is full.  And I have come to believe, however insanely insane you think it is, that the full moon really does have something to do with human behavior.

Up until a year or so ago, I was blissfully unaware of the theory that lunar cycles might have anything to do with mood, good or bad.  I just handled my moods as they came and wrote anything strange off as well, hey. I've always been a little strange.  Then, I opened the store, and began small-talking with hundreds of strangers every month.  And this Moon Theory was brought up, over and over; used to explain why Aunt Millie cut off her husband's pinkie toe when he complained about it one too many times, used to explain why last week it seemed like a good idea to buy three $400.00 dresses, but this week?  Not such a great plan, after all.  Yes, it was the moon's fault.

And that's just what I thought, too.  Uh huh, lady, the moon.  I'm sure it was hard!  You poor thing.  Bless your heart - I'm glad it's back to half-crescent or whatever the hell the next phase is.

And then the moon put the smack down on me.

Before I get into that, however, let me explain.  I am not even organized enough to write down my family member's birthdays and remember them, much less the exact dates and times of all the moon's many phases.  So this belief of mine, it can't be blamed on self-induced paranoia, or self-fulfilling prophecy.  I never even know it's a full moon until I am so far into angry raging mode that I (or someone else - ok, usually someone else) suggests that maybe, just maybe  there might be something wrong?  Perhaps?  And as I scream back that of course there's something wrong, try everything!, I catch a glimpse out the window, and hey, what do you know.  Full freaking moon.

My customers go into weird buying patterns during full moon.  I know this because now I have become so obsessed with the possibility that the heavenly, glowing subject of so many poems is not so innocent after all, and is wreaking havoc upon me and my fellow humans once a month, every month, that I HAVE gone and looked up all the full moon dates from the last 9 months and compared them with my store sales on those dates.  And they're WEIRD.

Also!  Today as I have done my normal walk around the blogosphere, I have noted not one, not two, not even three, but COUNTLESS blogs where the author is complaining that they are feeling off.  Or blue.  Or that their depression has returned, with a vengeance.  And I am not trying to sound trite, nor am I in any way suggesting that hey! Clinical depression isn't real, it's just the MOON.  Throw away the Xanax, get out a telescope, and let's just wait it out together.  I just think that the possibility that lunar cycles can exacerbate pre-existing conditions is one worth considering.

Medical statistics show that suicide rates are consistently higher during full moon phases.  School teachers report that their students have a harder time concentrating and more behavioral issues during a full moon.  Mental health facilities state that their patients have similarly heightened depressed and manic reactions in the full moon phase.  Primitive brain patterns suggest that our brains respond to the increased light of a full moon by staying more awake, alert, and on edge; an instinctual response dating back to the days before electricity, when brighter nights allowed for nocturnal hunting and the possibility of being hunted.

So, are you with me?  Still reading?  Ok, then let me give you my closing argument.  If this doesn't convince you that the moon can make you crazy, then nothing will.

I listened to the newest Kevin Federline song, and I kind of liked it.

Kill me now.

Comments

[Cassie]

You know, that article says that the moon will officially be full at 11:13? It's 11:03 as I write this...I guess I have 10 more minutes until full freak-out. I totally agree with everything you said, and you've presented all this incredible research so I can make this arguement to other people! K. Fed has had his day -- put the song away until the next cycle!

[Jerri Ann]

It never dawned on me that the moon was a problem until I was pg and I would have terrible contractions during the last 3 months at the full moon, then hear the nurses talk about a full delivery room during this time, and then finally, my first born son was a royal pain in the arse with his sleep during the full moon. Since that time, my second child sent me to the hospital in pre-term labor at 24, weeks, 28 weeks and 32 weeks....all stopped thankfully, but all at the full moon. So, if you are crazy, so am I!

[LC]

My Mom swears by this and she's not one that tends to believe stuff like that. The full moon does effect pregnancy like Jerri Ann says. Crazy, but I'm crazy all the time although this week has been worse then usual. Though most of that does have a teeny bit to do with the husbands job or lack there of. grr

[kyle]

our drummer aaron turns into a werewolf on full moons. but... actually, i think he can do that at will and just chooses to do it during full moons simply to freak us out. and it does. everytime.

and... at the risk of getting publicly berated, cause you either like him or you hate him: i will say that jason mraz wrote a fairly good tune about this topic, entitled "bella luna".

Two cats, moon-mood theories, and you like Kevin Federline? Should I have cause for concern?

[CJ]

Oh good lord say it isn't so! So its the damn moon cycle thats causing met o have the bladder infectin right? I knew it!!! LOL Its kinda funny but between the infection and the baby blues, you might be on to something!

[Nathan]

In my opinion it's not whether the moon does anything to us, but it is WHAT it does to us. And that is the question you should be asking yourself. Why does it make you aggravated? Why does it make some people buy dresses, and why does it make little babies want to jump out of their mom's uterus? WHY???

[elise]

Yes, you should never be afraid to ask why :)

[Brianna]

Yeah, I never believed this until I worked in a healthcare center in high school. The residents would go nutty at the full moon. So weird.