HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING, OF COURSE

Here is an excerpt of the complete and total idiocy I might have to deal with on a near daily frequency if, hypothetically, we were involved in a lawsuit with the people from whom we bought the store.  I mean, of course this is all made up, but just IF, if we were involved in something like that, this is an exchange that might, hypothetically, occur.  The most important thing to remember here is that this is ALL MADE UP!  NONE OF IT IS REAL!  DO YOU HEAR THAT, LAWYERS?

The lady who sold us the store is, and I am being as nice as possible here, very, very stooooopid (hypothetically).  She wastes so much time rehashing issues that have absolutely nothing to do with anything (again, hypothetically).  It would normally only be an annoyance; a slight, nagging, continuing decline in my faith in the human race, but it is costing me about $200 per hour (hypothetically!) to deal with her nonsensical issues. 

Here, I respond to a hypothetical email sent by her hypothetical lawyer to my hypothetical lawyer.  She is complaining, once again, that we have not complied with our contractual obligations to change the signage on the store.  Also, because the name of my store is nearly identical to the name of her "business", whatever that might be, we often get orders shipped to each others addresses.  Instead of just accepting this as a fact of a computerized nation, she consistently brings it up in regards to this lawsuit.  Like, hey! I know!  I will sue you because the companies we both order from hire foreign, non-English speaking shipping department employees and they often mix up my address with yours!  It must be your fault (hypothetically).

All names and identifying details have been changed.  Not that they need to be.  It's all hypothetical!

The neon sign placed between the store and the building next to it does say "Old Store's Name".  I have never owned this sign.  It belonged to Old Store Owner, henceforth referred to as the Devil, and was her sign for her business, after she sold us the store.  I can only assume that it belongs to the Devil's parents now, as they are now the owners of that business and that building.  But it has NEVER belonged to me, and I have never had any right to take it down.  In fact, when I bought the store, the Devil made us promise that she could keep that sign up because it was "her" sign for her business, and she needed it so that her traffic would not diminish.  Perhaps she still owns it?  If so, she should feel FREE to take it down.  I would love for it to be gone.

I have NEVER advertised with her name.  I would never even want to do so, and I have absolutely, unequivocally never advertised my store with any other name than "Current Store Name".  If the Devil's lawyer is "aware" of some advertising of this nature, I would love to see it.  Maybe they can produce some on their home computer, because it doesn't exist anywhere else.

I have no idea what the Devil's lawyer is talking about in his last sentence. Maybe companies are still sending my orders to her address?  If so, I am unaware of it.  Also, if this is still occurring, it has nothing to do with me or the Devil not being clear about our respective names and addresses, it would remain a problem with the company in question not reading carefully enough when they select their shipping address out of the computer.  As you can imagine, "Current Store Name" and "Old Store's Name" would be alphabetically right next to each other. Perhaps we could explain the alphabet to the Devil's lawyer and have him convey that system of organization to the Devil. 

They enjoy wasting time.

Comments

[Lizzie (Mom Unscripted)]

Good grief. Sounds like the devil is a hypothetical moron. Why much people nitpick? Seriously it gets so old, get over, its done. Its women I tell you. They're all nuts. I'll admit it, I'm nuts.

[CJ]

I agree with Lizzie!!!LOL Its s woman thing! LOL Maybe shes on meds and she keeps getting them messed up because they both start with M or something. Freak!!LOL

[elise]

CJ: lol! I think you may have figured her out. Congrats; none of us have been able to do it. But this very well might be her whole problem :)

[CJ]

Glad I could help!!!LMAO!!!