All Or Nothing

Update:

We didn't break up after all.
And I still got the margarita.

No, it's definitely you.

My husband and I are deciding tonight whether or not we are going to "break up".

This is the non-divorcing crowd's way of telling their partner that they are NOT HAPPY WITH THE SITUATION, NOT HAPPY AT ALL.

(This is also a good way to get to go out to dinner.  Because what's more fun than taking your nonplussed wife out so that she can decide whether she wants to keep going steady with you?)

What is making me so nonplussed, you ask?  Well, I'd love to tell you, but the last time I told someone (ahem) what was bothering me, they responded by saying that I sounded like I might become CLINICALLY DEPRESSED in the near future.  And that they were worried about it. 

Telling your wife that you are worried about her future mental health because she expresses discontent over a few small things is a great way to end up at a dinner date discussing your relationship status quo, per se.

If we do decide to break up, I'm not sure how the whole thing will go down.  I envision things being something like him bringing me lots of gifts and flowers and saying all sorts of lovely things about me and my intelligence and beauty and how they are all unmatched, of course, and then probably assuring me that my mental health is NOT AT ALL in danger, and how stupid of him to ever say that, what an idiot he is.  And then I guess I'll forgive him, but only after I get a really good gift and at least one margarita out of the deal.

Because what's the point of getting your mental health questioned if you can't even get a break-up, a margarita, and a subsequent dramatic get-back-together out of it?