Confession

Ok Internet, I think we need to talk.  No, I mean, I'm not saying that you did anything wrong....no, I am NOT trying to take "that" tone, whatever that means....ok, ok, I guess I do sound a little foreboding.  But I just need to talk to you for a second, ok?

The thing is, Internet, I really do care for you.  No, I do!  I promise.  I really care about you and because I care about you so much, I really think hard about what I do and don't tell you.  NO, that's NOT just an excuse!  It's the truth, I swear.  I never want you to feel burdened with my problems, or think that I am just using you to vent. 

So anyway, I guess what I am trying to say, is that I have been holding out on you.  Yeah, it is kinda big.  Well, I'm telling you NOW.  Will you just give me a chance to explain?  Ok.  OK!

Here goes:

You know that after Cody and I got married in August 2004 we lived in Dallas and I worked at a law firm that I really loved.  Well, I loved the people I worked with, maybe not exactly family law, but that's another story.  Anyhow, Cody was finishing up his internship as a chiropractor and got a really great job offer in Tyler.  I was NOT excited about moving back to Tyler, but marriage is all about what is best for the big US, not just ME (or so I hear), and so we moved to Tyler in January 2005.  Cody started working at the chiropractic office here, and I was trying to still work at the law firm I had been working for in Dallas.  Anyway, commuting from Tyler to Dallas got really old after a while so I had to stop that and then I didn't have anything to do and Cody felt bad about me being in Tyler because I was super whiny about it so he said I should do "whatever I wanted to do the most".  And you probably know me enough by now to know how something like that can sound, I mean there are a million things I would like to do. 

So, I decided that I would really love most of all to open my own clothing boutique.  And I started researching retail space and wholesalers and took an online business course.  And then I found out that this girl I went to college with, well her mother owned a boutique here in Tyler that she was trying to sell.  So we got really involved in negotiations with her and ended up buying it.  We took over last July and after a couple of months found out that the former owner had either intentionally or unintentionally given us and our lawyer and accountant and everyone all these sales figures and balance sheets and everything from the last 4 years that were, how should we say, totally fabricated, so long story short we paid WAY more for the business than it was worth and now we are involved in litigation with them to get our money back.  It really sucks, Internet, because it's hard enough to run a small retail business, harder still in your first year, and pretty much impossible when you are starting in a BIG HOLE of debt that you never should have had, relying on sales that never existed in the first place. 

Not to mention that during all of this Cody lost his job, the job that we moved here for, because the other chiropractor he was working with just decided one day that he didn't want a two doctor practice after all, even though Cody was doing really well there and was increasing his patient base all the time.  And then Cody was maybe going to get this other job, and so we spent an entire month putting all our energy towards that and not really pursuing anything else because it was like 98% sure that he was going to get this new job, and then we found out that he didn't get it after all because they weren't sure if they were ready to do it RIGHT NOW, and since we live in the right now that wasn't really going to work.

On top of all of this, when Cody's parents found out a year and a half ago that we were going to move to Tyler they decided that they wanted to build us a house, you know about the house, Internet, see, I haven't held out on everything!  And even though that sounds really great it has been the HUGEST ordeal and we have done almost all the work ourselves right down to harvesting the bricks for our house from another house that was going to get torn down.  And it doesn't even matter because neither of us has any money whatsoever to buy the house even if it was completely done.

Whew!

But even though all of that sounds really awful and maybe even like I am complaining I really am not; there have been a lot of great things that have happened because of all this crap, and I know the Lord is trying to teach us something really good through all of it.  And being married to Cody is the best thing I have ever done, truly, and I wouldn't change that for anything.  We made a lot of really grown-up decisions very quickly, and now we are playing catch-up. 

Here are the good things, though:

1.  The store has done SO much better than we ever could have hoped that it would do; it is truly a MIRACLE that we have not completely gone under, because we would have had to exceed the sales that the former owner ACTUALLY had by like, oh, a hundred and twenty thousand or so to even come close to making a profit in our first year.  NOT a good plan, but the Lord has TOTALLY taken care of us; we always make it through each month, even though sometimes we have no idea how it will happen.

2.  The house is FINALLY done enough to live in.  And we live in it!  We moved in two weeks ago.  And we are living in it for free right now (well, we are eating up our equity, but whatever.  It works for now).  Long story short, since my father-in-law financed the whole build, we don't actually owe money to any bank, and obviously since we did so much of the work ourselves, it is MUCH less expensive than it would have been otherwise....so, we are living for free until things get a little more solid on the financial front.  And what a HUGE BLESSING that is right now, let me tell you.

3.  Cody has started his own practice, but in a way that doesn't have to be permanent if we don't want it to be.  It's too long (and somewhat boring) to explain all the details of that - no, Internet, I promise, I am not holding out again - but another long story short, he is kind of getting to do a trial thing and if it works out well he can stick with it and if not then he can easily take another direction with his practice.

4.  I am helping Cody with his new practice.  Yes, Internet, that means I am running one business and working at another, all at the same time, but I want to support my husband as much as I can and I know he would do the same for me, and also I don't have to do much but answer the phone and get things organized for now, and it's really the reason I have any time to sit here and tell you all this, Internet, so you should be happy!  Plus, I get to spend more time with Cody, which is always nice, and also as long as I don't let all my natural worry and anxiety totally take over and tell me that we have no money, never have any money, how will we pay for anything, etc etc, it's really a nice situation.

So there it is, Internet, my confession.  Feel better?  Me too.

Comments

[Laurie]

I feel better! :) Seriously though, it's SO good to hear that the house is done, and the business is hanging on, and Cody is doing okay. I miss you!!!! I know I'm horrible about keeping in touch, but that doesn't mean I'm not thinking of you and wondering how you're doing and hope you're doing okay. I'll try to come for a visit soon to see you and the house and the business. I miss you! -Laurie

[Elise]

We'd love to see you anytime :)