I think our fabulously designed human bodies have a very good system for keeping bad things out.
For example, last night I pulled out a carton of chocolate soy milk. Light. Now, many of you would reject this without your body's suggestions, but because I am lactose intolerant (no, I can't eat ice cream or cheese. Yes, I see, you would kill yourself if you could not eat ice cream or cheese. Thanks.) I drink soy milk on a very regular basis. And, I actually enjoy it. But I digress.
The thing about soy milk is that it doesn't expire for like, 3 or 4 months after you buy it. I know, I know, yet another reason YOU wouldn't drink it. Shut up. I like it. And this particular chocolate soy milk carton has an expiration date that goes at least midway through April. So it should be fine.
However, when I poured myself a glass, and brought the milk close enough to my mouth to smell, I got the first bodily warning: "Smells funny! Reconsider ingesting!"
When I ignored this warning, telling my body that "you are totally overreacting, and also being somewhat rude, I mean I AM lactose intolerant because of YOU, how dare you snub the smell of my soy milk," I went ahead and took a swig.
Bodily warning two: "No! Tastes really weird! Even chalkier than ever! Reconsider ingesting! Please!!"
You're probably expecting a story to follow where I again ignored my body and drank the milk and then all the gross details of sickness that would have most certainly ensued. However, I listened. And my stomach still hurt for at least half an hour.
So, way to go, body! You may not look the way I wish you would in the new Earnest Sewn Harlan jeans, but you sure can kick some bad soy milk's ass!
i still need your address.
and elise! there is some tiny print on the soy milk carton that says to use within 7-10 days of opening!!!
Posted by: heather | March 14, 2006 at 10:20 AM
Hmmm. Well they are being MISLEADING with all that big expiration date stuff.
I am emailing you now.
Posted by: elise | March 15, 2006 at 11:41 AM
I like enhanced soy milk.
Posted by: kelsey | March 17, 2006 at 02:27 AM
elsie ~ i drink soy milk for fun.
but when it goes bad, it goes bad. even when mixed with chai.
Posted by: regan | March 17, 2006 at 06:23 PM
agreed, ray-gan.
Posted by: ELISE, thanks | March 19, 2006 at 02:15 AM
i'm lactose intolerant too.
and one time, there was a clump in my soy milk that i was unaware of until it hit my lips.
i gagged.
Posted by: kim | March 26, 2006 at 02:16 AM