Ok! Enough said (or not said) about the comment issue. No comments it will stay. That's what I wanted anyway; I just wanted to give everyone a fair chance to give their two cents. And I am nothing if not fair. And efficient. I am nothing if not fair and efficient.
Cody has been waiting on his actual, final, real deal, this is it, end of the line, no-seriously-we're-not-kidding-this-time Chiropractic License to arrive at our apartment via mail. We overnighted the Very Last item to the Chiropractic Licensing People last Thursday, probably about 30 minutes after Cody got it in the mail. Meaning, we are not wasting any time here, people.
The process is pretty amazing, what with the waiting for CLP to send you some paper that you have to get signed and then send back to CLP, and then CLP review it, and then send you a new letter, demanding another piece of your life history, which you then have to go locate, request, wait on, mail, and then the whole thing starts over again.
The files CLP keep take up at least three medium sized rooms each.
Anyway, as I said, Cody and I OVERNIGHTED the Very Last item last Thursday. He has been waiting for his license ever since then, regardless of any logic or intelligence he may once have had regarding the United States Postal Service.
When we woke up on Friday morning, the very day after the overnighting occurred, Cody began speculating about what time the mail might arrive that day.
Saturday, he was sure that the license would be in our mailbox, as he knew that CLP had received his letter Friday, and had probably dropped everything to process it right then and there and overnight it right back. Even though CLP specifically said CLP would send it certified mail, and no other way.
Sunday was a dark day with no mail to look forward to.
Monday afternoon Cody was nowhere to be found. After an extensive search of the premises, I found him following the mailman around, trying to steal pieces of mail.
Tuesday Cody fell asleep under the mailbox.
Wednesday Cody began planning the mass murder of all employees at CLP.
Thursday Cody erradically wandered around the apartment, listlessly mumbling things like "I just wasted $150 grand...wha...I'll kill you...who is this? where are you?"
Today Cody called me in a fury. After he calmed down enough to speak, he told me this story:
When he checked the mailbox this afternoon, he found a white slip inside, instructing him to go to the apartment office to pick up a package. Awash with glory and hallelujah, he ran to the office as fast as he could, and proudly announced "I am Cody Carter, and I am here to pick up a package!".
They quickly retrieved his package, which was, suspiciously, addressed to Elise Carter, but this did not stop Cody in his maddening glee. He ripped open the box, and when what was inside fell onto the apartment office floor, it was all he could do, he said, to not cry.
"Ooh! My Sephora lip gloss!" I interjected at this point in the story. "Wow, I wonder how they sent it so fast! That's what it was, right? My Sephora lip gloss? I only ordered it on Tuesday or something! I can't believe it's here already!"
"Yeah, it was your Sephora f-ing lip glosss. I'm going to use it on my ass, and then throw it out into the street. Goodbye."
WELL. I thought we were supposed to rejoice in each other's triumphs. Guess not.
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