Wha?

I'm quite the stupid one today.
I just can't seem to get it together. For example, I've been sitting here for AT LEAST ten minutes trying to unveil the mystery of whether "choose" is REALLY spelled c-h-o-0-s-e (like noose? like loose? that CAN'T be right) and then I start to question whether or not choose even EXISTS as a word, and then I forget what I was trying to get across in the first place and resort to typing "He picked that thing there" and then hit delete when I could have SWORN my mouse was pointed at save.
I probably answer the phone at work a minimum of 100 times, every day, for nearly a year, and suddenly today I can't remember who it is I work for, or how to put them on hold, or what I'm supposed to tell them - there's at least a 10 second pause between when I pick up the receiver and when I actually emit a noise. Why are you calling ME, anyway? I've got nothin for ya, I promise you that. And if you're calling to reach a workplace full of holiday joy and goodwill towards men, then you are IN FOR A SHOCK. This is Divorce Law, people, not the Salvation Army.
I walk away from my desk for two minutes, get to the next room, wonder why I'm there, and come back, only to see the very document I needed sitting there, rolling it's eys at me. And, I heard my date-stamper and calendar discussing how they might stage an intervention to help me PLEASE admit that it is, in fact, DEC 16.
The mailman just came through and unwittingly tried to engage me in small talk. Small talk? Are you kidding me? I can't even spell on a fourth grade level today, ok? If you ask me whether I'm a "rose" then I'm probably just going to stare at you with a REAL dumb look on my face and NOT AT ALL TIE THAT COMMENT to the comment I made about moving to Tyler, THE ROSE CAPITAL OF THE USA. A rose? A freakin ROSE? What the hell are you talking about, man?
My boss asked me earlier about our transcription module, which has been malfunctioning. I was supposed to try and figure out what might be wrong with it, and then fix it accordingly. Seems pretty straight-forward, right? Well, when he asked me the status of said device, I said (and I am not kidding), "I talked called toey those, uh, umm...those, troubleshooters, and then plugged well, that icon on the side - it can the signals get real mixed - is not supposed to be blinking and that might be the whole problem, probably."
Perhaps I should walk drive myself, ummm, to the car and then steer the wheel until maybe home is where I will end up, probably.