Words are interesting. They pack a lot of impact, when paired with like actions. Conversely, however, they lose pretty much all meaning when they aren't. Interesting to wonder how much the words "I am sorry" mean after the fact. Common sense and logic would tell me that they don't mean much. Regardless of whether or not they are true, they lose their meaning, after the fact.
I haven't handled some situations very well. I really try to stay away from using this blog space as airing my own personal stuff, but I feel that this is more important than that precedent.
There really isn't a lot to say about the whole deal, except that not being totally honest and open with people is never the best option, and, unfortunately, is the option I have chosen as of late. And, as I deserve, that has backfired.
I seem to have a pretty hard time making decisions about much of anything. (see) I find myself in a perpetual state of complete confusion. But that's no reason or excuse for dragging other people down with me, especially the caliber of people I have drug down.
I am sorry. To everyone involved, and that's a lot more than I even know about. I know it doesn't matter, and I know, like all other words that aren't backed up, they just turn into letters on a page, or sounds from someone's lips. But, I am sorry, nonetheless. There doesn't seem to be much more I can say.
confusion wanders in
strides the evening like a king
chaos and turmoil prevail
bedlam reigns, hope is drowned
ah but strangely we settle down
resigned to the sinking ship on which we sail....
another night is getting late
I don't know which way to go
there's just this long white road
and I can't think straight
no I can't think straight
david gray
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