A Story of Obscene Extremes

A Story of Obscene Extremes:

1. I'm eating cake frosting right out of the can. Yep, it has 8 million grams of fat and about 9 trillion calories. Nope, I don't care.

2. Amy (my best friend and one of my roomates, for those of you who may not have had the pleasure to meet her) is now moving into my room. With me. Yep, it's really small. Nope, there is no possible way that we can fit all our stuff in there.

3. I got all my laundry back tonight. Yep, it was more than a week ago that I said it was imperative to get it done immediately. Nope, I'm not gonna tell you how I got by for another week, nor would I encourage you to use your imaginations.

4. The total laundry poundage count was 88. Yep, you read it right, 88 pounds. Nope, 88 pounds of freshly washed laundry does not make the fitting-everything-into-a-tiny-room situation any easier.

5. Even though I hate grocery shopping, and I have no money, and it takes me one million years to pick out what I'm gonna buy, I went to Market Street tonight. Yep, I got all the way through the line and realized I didn't have my wallet. Nope, the irony wasn't lost on me.

6. Today, one of my professors asked our entire class to write out what we thought the opposite sex wanted most in a relationship. Yep, most of the girls thought guys wanted to watch sports and have sex whenever they wanted. Nope, the guys didn't deny it, except for the one guy who threw out "Well, I don't like sports...."

7. I'm going to see Damien Rice at the Gypsy Tea Room on Friday the 28th. Yep, it's gonna be awesome, almost as awesome as the company I'll have. Nope, I have no doubt that the three of us will prove to be the lucky charm that makes great concerts incredible, just like the last one we all went to together.

8. I'm putting off the inevitable....I don't want to go back into that quickly-shrinking room and look at the mass of clothes, books, magazines, bedside tables, chairs, and beds that all somehow have to fit in a semi-organizational manner. Yep, you remembered correctly, I'm the girl who seems to repel all organization. Nope, I have not a clue why we ever thought this was gonna work.

How can you think I have time for 9 and 10 after reading all that? Give a girl a break.