Selections from a customer service agent's training manual:
Section One: "How To avoid answering any direct questions"
Section Two: "How To speak broken English fluently"
Section Three: "How To quickly alert the customer to the fact that they have a much better grasp of the company's operation than you do"
Section Four: "How To quickly alert the customer to the fact that you have never been to, seen, or had any experience with the place of business in question"
Section Five: "How To avoid any kind of reasoning by repeatedly asking the customer the correct spelling of his/her mother's maiden name, regardless of what they have asked you"
Section Six: "How To get out of a tough spot by allowing the customer to thoroughly and intelligently explain his/her situation, and then immediately transferring them to an entirely different department"
Section Seven: "How To refer only to 'Company Policy' when fielding all questions about general procedures. Note - Be sure not to explain 'Company Policy' to customer under any circumstances. In order to make this step more streamlined, we will not explain 'Company Policy' to you."