This past Saturday Cody and I went to meet some of our friends over at a house they were house-sitting. Said house has a pool, and, as you'll recall, we all live in East Texas and it's like a trillion degrees outside right now. (No really, it is). So it only makes sense that we would all want to utilize such a welcome, cooling, oasis of water, and we made plans to do just that. Cody and I packed up our floats and a cooler of refreshments and headed over. And about three hours later, Cody hurriedly dragged all our stuff back out to the car and went to retrieve his concussed wife, who was dazedly walking around the backyard with a huge goose-egg on her forehead.
I'd like to take this moment to tell you that I am, actually, very familiar with pools, and with swimming. I started swimming lessons when I was two, for goodness sakes. I was on the swim team! I worked every summer as a lifeguard throughout most of college. I am not a pool retard. So that makes the incident that follows even LESS impressive.
And I'd love to explain what happened, getting wordier and wordier as I go, extrapolating similes and metaphors about how swimming can be just like life, man, and how love's like a bump on the head, when it all comes down to it. But the truth is, I don't remember much of anything. So, in the tradition of many a great blogger before me, I'm gonna let Microsoft Paint do the talking!
First, Cody and I thought it would be fun to do that thing where one person stands on the other person's shoulders, and Person 1 squats down so that he can then jump up out of the water and launch Person 2 into the air. Actually, I should say CODY always thinks this will be a fun game; I normally am somewhat ambivalent about playing. But anyway, that's what we were doing. Like so!
As you can see, in this pool there is an area of deep water, and then another area where the water is shallower. Just like every pool in the whole entire world.
Okay, so after a few jumps, I got to feeling pretty good about myself, and decided that I would do a back-dive. Like this!
I did a few back-dives and they were just awesome. I got really proud of myself. And then, unbeknownst to me, Cody moved into shallower water. He may have mentioned this to me and I, so taken with myself as I was, didn't hear him. As I mentioned, I honestly don't remember, and, as such, will not accept Cody's version of the story as 100% fact. I mean, that's like telling a coma patient that you sat beside their bed every day for 10 hours. You might have....or you might have been out playing frisbee. They'll never know. It's pretty low, Cody, lying to a head-trauma victim. However, whether it came with warning or not, Cody moved into shallower water and I still thought 'OOH, DIVING, FUN!"
So I dove, came down forehead-first on the pool floor, and ended up looking like this:
And then, for some reason, we went to dinner with friends, then somewhere else, and then to our friend's house, where I apparently fell asleep on the floor. I remember approximately 5-7% of this. And then all day Sunday I kept making mention of things I thought we had done the day before:
Me: Hey Cody, those sure were some good nachos we ate last night!
Cody: No one ate any nachos, Elise
Me: That was fun getting to see Friends X, Y and Z!
Cody: We never saw any of those people, Elise
Me: My brother says you called him all sorts of names (ed: he and Cody do this to each other ALL THE TIME - all in good fun) on the phone yesterday, Why'd you do that?
Cody: You TOLD me to call him, Elise. And then you told me what to say!
And that's how I feel about life - it's like you're having a great time, and then you smash your head into concrete (metaphorical concrete, of course), and then it's like the universe allows you to forget how much the concrete hurt and soon enough, you're all recovered and better than ever and can even look back and have a laugh or two about the whole ordeal. Time heals all wounds, you know?
Or maybe I'm just a moron who can't judge diving depth. Either way.