Yeah, so what. I started watching Lost, after all this time.
Yes, I know, you told me it was great, you told me it was addicting, and now you've told me that it totally sucks and is largely plotless and extremely infuriating. And yet?
I began Season One last week. As expected, I could not control myself and watched all eight episodes I rented in one sitting. I haven't rented the last two discs of Season One yet, because I haven't had a spare 8-10 hours come up as available, and the idea of me just sitting down to watch one or two at a time is laughable. I wish I was one of those normal people, you know, the types who can moderate.
Anyway, I'm not even writing to talk about Lost, and its crystal meth-like appeal. I only brought it up to show you this:
Looks innocent enough, right? It's the street you drive down to get to our house. Nice, serene, leafy....you know, nothing to be afraid of. Right?
WRONG. This, my friends, is a wild boar. A black, wiry, evil-looking, tusky, toothy HOG, circa Lost.
Aka THEY WILL KILL YOU SO YOU'D BEST NOT BE MESSIN' WITH 'EM.
Look! I ran up beside his carcass and placed a beer can by his head, just so that you could estimate the scariness of his massive size! I risked my life in doing so. I hope you're impressed.
Let me tell you how excited I am to discover that this boar, this wild, feral animal, is not an anomaly. No, no, there are hundreds of these guys, running around and wreaking their boarish havoc in the woods DIRECTLY BEHIND my house. Well, as long as "directly behind" can mean anything from "relatively near" to "a mile or two away from". Anyway, if you do watch Lost, you'll remember several scenes featuring the wild boar prominently, scenes that focused on the boar's size, strength, meanness, and KILLER TENDENCIES. Also, on the fact that boars are apparently good eatin'. But that's neither here nor there for me, as I do not own a bow and arrow nor a net-trap, nor do I have any inclination whatsoever to hunt and eat from my own backyard. I wonder where Darwin would put me on his list.
Luckily, I found this site, and my worries have been assuaged. Anyone who includes the phrases "ARE WILD HOGS DESTROYING YOUR PROPERTY or your CROPS?! 20+ YEARS experience in HOG REMOVAL. I'll kill'em for FREE!" and "I KNOW HOW TO DO IT SAFELY with RESPECT to the LAND OWNER and PROPERTY! You provide the land & hogs, I provide the skills and tools to get rid of'em" is a good person to have around in my book.
And look! He's from East Texas. I bet I'll see him at the Wal-Mart real soon.