Ok, so no more about clothes, or the Junior League, or anything at all related to the store.
I will say, however, that UPS wasn't quite satisfied with the major screw-over they gave me on Friday, and went ahead and didn't get me my package on Saturday either. Saturday, as in I paid both overnighting fees AND Saturday-delivery fees, totaling over $100, for my poor dad to sit alone in my house all morning and wait on the United Probably-not-gonna-deliver-this Service to NOT show up.
(Sidenote: I did get some kind of sick vindication from reading your horrible experiences with this pathetic outfit. What can I say, misery loves company.)
Today, I am having a lazy, lazy day. After I finished the show out yesterday (I know, I know, I said no more. I lied. I also didn't post yesterday, so I am breaking all kinds of promises - I'm such a rebel!), we broke down the booth and moved it all back to the store in a record time of TWO HOURS. Two hours! I couldn't believe it. That means that we were entirely done with everything at 7pm. My family is awesome, and they all work for free. Ha, speaking of working for free, my most favorite girl to work with in the world worked with me all day Friday and Saturday and ended up owing ME money, she took so many clothes home with her. Now that's what I call a great employee.
Anyhow, we got done at 7pm, and all proceeded to celebrate with copious amounts of wine, a great dinner, mojitos and more wine. I fell into bed at about 1am with the plan of not getting up until sometime this evening. Unconscionably lazy, right? Just wait. It gets much, much worse.
I woke up at about 9:45am and decided that I was starving. Not wanting to do any actual work to obtain some breakfast, I decided to order a pizza. But! The pizza delivery place near here doesn't actually open until 10:30am. Imagine, not serving pizza for the hungry breakfast crowd. I was understandably taken aback, but, questionable business practices aside, went ahead and put in my order. I was able to order my pizza pre-10am, because the online site (read: too lazy to pick up the phone - see, I told you it would get worse) offers some kind of "Order Ahead of Time!" option that I assume caters solely to those of us so incredibly lazy or fat that we cannot manage to wait the extra 30 minutes it would take for the store to OPEN. Ahh, American culture at its best.
My pizza arrived at about 11am. You might think, wow, she had to wait a long time to get her pizza, and hey, didn't she mention she was starving upon waking up? (Actually I can't imagine ANY of you thinking that, you are probably gagging if you are still reading this, wondering how you ever thought you might like someone as self-indulgent and unimpressive as me.) But don't worry. I assuaged my hunger before my pizza arrived by eating ice cream straight out of the carton. Yes, that's right, I did get out of bed in order to procure the ice cream, but I did not find it necessary to go to all the trouble of grabbing a bowl and doing all that scooping and metering out nonsense.
When my pizza arrived, I dragged myself back out of bed (oh, the effort!), put my ice cream back in the freezer (how industrious of me), and got myself a plate and some napkins. I even had the foresight (I hate that word so much, it always makes me think of "foreskin") to grab a towel from the bathroom counter to drape over my bedspread so that if (when) I got a little messy with the pizza I wouldn't have to do any unnecessary laundry. Because obviously it would be asking too much for me to eat the pizza anywhere other than the bed, under the covers, with my laptop, cell phone, and remote control at the ready.
Lance Armstrong, in his most recent commercial:
"Remember me, cancer? You made me suffer. My mom too."
That's great Lance, and I am as happy as the next person that you survived your battle with cancer. But "My mom too" is NOT a sentence, and if you want to do national TV spots, you MIGHT want to take the time to hire a good editor and make sure that all 15 seconds of your monologue are comprised of real and non-fragmented sentences.
In light of this commercial gaffe it becomes clear that while I might be immoderately lazy, I am not as lazy as Lance. And, as we all know, Mr. Armstrong has made a career for himself by being incredibly active, winning Tour de France's and such. So if, on a Scale of Laziness, Elise < Lance Armstrong, then that makes me pretty damn impressive, if you ask me.
And the towel/tablecloth? Great idea, as it turned out.