All Or Nothing

xoxo

If you got a hundred thousand dollars for each person you've kissed (not counting kids or pets), would you be a millionaire?

My Parents: A Glimpse

Mom (to me):  So anyway, that's why I didn't have a profile picture on Facebook for a while, I just...

Dad (coming home from work and interrupting the conversation):  Hey!  I sent you, like, 10 text messages today and you never responded to any of them!

Mom:  I did too, I responded to one of them and said that I was busy and didn't have time to text message.

Dad:  Yeah, but what about after that when I kept sending them?  You just ignored all those.

Mom:  What I wanted to text back was 'Clearly you aren't working hard enough if you're text stalking me all day'.

Dad:  I was waiting on a message like that, that's why I kept sending 'em.

:)

If You Were In My Head

• Is this song by Pink?  I think it's Pink.  Do I even like Pink? 
• If I put on mascara right now, it's a guarantee that someone will come in the store when I only have one eye done, rendering me the one-eyed wonder
• Maybe I do like Pink
• Am I hot enough to turn on the A/C?  I'm not actually sweating yet
• No one's walked by for a while, maybe it's safe to start Operation Mascara
• I wonder if makeup really makes us look better, or if we're just so used to how we look in makeup that we think it looks better
• If it does actually make us look better, score one for girls, because you guys have nothin'
• Aww man, of COURSE someone is coming in right now!  Unbelievable
• Oh good, it's just the mail lady, she'll be too busy complaining to notice my lack of left eye lashes
• This is the most confusing rant I have ever heard, I think she is saying her manager has given her too MANY hours in which to complete her deliveries on this route...
• I need to change the dress on that mannequin stat
• Yes, mail lady is definitely telling me that she has proven to the higher ups that her route takes less time than what they have given her to do it in...I still am failing to see why this is a problem
• Definitely A/C time, starting to feel like a sauna in here
• Is this song lyric saying I want to taste all the chemicals inside?  That can't be healthy
• Do most people use their dominant hand for all eye makeup application?  Or do they use right hand on right eye and left hand on left eye?
• Ooh, Kings of Leon, much better
• I need to change my voicemail to be more like the one I heard the other day: "hey, this is Mr. X, sorry I missed your call, leave me a message if you'd like, OR you can send me a text, that seems to be the best way to get a quick response".  Genius!  I hate voicemail
• Is this dress too short?  I think it's definitely too short for 28.  Wow, when did I start thinking that way?
• I hate almost nothing more than hurting people's feelings
• Fire ants, I do hate those more I think.  It's at least a tie
• Ha, if I had to choose one, being bitten by fire ants for a good portion of every single day, or hurting someone's feelings every day, I wonder which it would be?
• I think I'd start getting immune to both after a while. so maybe it's a bad question.  OR, maybe extended exposure to fire ant poison would kill me, thus rendering the entire experiment moot
• Doubt it, those suckers aren't taking me down like that
• Maybe I should start carrying ant poison around in my car with me, and every time I see a hill, just wage war right then and there
• Is that one of those things that would make me endearing, lovably eccentric, or just plain weird?

After reading this post, you may advise me to go back to my old plan of NOT blogging :)

Vanished

WHY:
I think I forgot how to type.  My shoulder is injured.  My keyboard is dirty.  Typepad won't let me login.  I didn't pay Typepad to renew my blog because I wasn't sure that I wanted to keep writing ever-increasingly lethargic posts.  I thought I'd miss it more if I stopped.  I am a terrible commenter and didn't want to run around commenting on 87 different blogs per day because it took me way too long and started to feel like a job requirement.  I don't like blogging politics and internet cliques.  No one wants to see pictures of Lydah every single day.  I got really busy.  My keyboard is REALLY dirty.

But guess what? 

WHAT:
Separated from writing for long enough, I did start missing it.  And I have been reading blogs again, sans commenting.  I even got up the nerve to open my long-neglected feed reader the other day, and went ahead and marked everything read and now you know what I do?  I just read the ones I feel like reading.  No pressure!  How about that? 

AM WEIRD:
Look, I realize that I am possibly the only person any of us know who is neurotic enough to self-impose all these regulations and requirements on what is, 100%, a hobby.  But there it is. 

I'm neurotic!  And my keyboard is gross!

IN CONCLUSION:
But I'm back.  I paid Typepad, I cleaned my keyboard.  And I'm giving myself a break as far as my self-inflicted blogging guilt.  14 posts in 28 days.  Count it.

OH LOOK, IT'S LYDAH, AFTER ALL:

A Question For The Ages

So, the alphabet survey/meme/whatever is fun, huh?  This post isn't meant to replace that one - if you still wanna play, just comment on that post and I'll assign you a letter.  So far lots of you are doing it and I've had a great time reading all the lists.

Okay - I'm gonna try not to show my hand on this one, so I'll just ask the question and shut up.  However, let me IMPLORE you to answer - it won't take any time at all, you'll remain completely anonymous, and (most importantly) you will be HELPING ME PROVE A POINT TO MILLIONS.  Well, maybe thousands.  Okay, okay, hundreds.  Or maybe just to this guy.

Feel free to comment as well, if your passion for or against the Brazil nut transcends the poll answers provided. I know mine does.

This Post Brought To You By The Letter T

T, as in THERMOMETER.  And I can use thermometer as the word du jour, because I don't have any strong feelings towards thermometers, one way or the other, and therefore that won't mess up this meme I'm about to do.

Yeah, yeah I know.  A meme.  Or survey, or quiz, whatever you wanna call it.  But don't worry, this one is decently entertaining and easy.

The rules:

You leave a comment on this post, and I’ll assign you a letter. You write about ten things you love that begin with your assigned letter, and post it at your place. When people comment on your list, you give them a letter, and the chain continues on and on.

And then you each send me $25. 

What?  That isn't on the other people's rules?  Well I'll meet you halfway, you don't have to do cash, you could just do a gift card or something.  Geez.  Where's your holiday spirit?

1.  Tea.  Yeah I know, it seems a little bit cheaty since T and Tea are basically the EXACT SAME THING - tricky phonetics - but I genuinely love tea.  Green tea, specifically.  I drink probably 2- 4 cups per day, and yeah yeah I know all the good stuff about moderation, but it's better than soda and my tea tags say cute little things like "grace brings trust, appreciation, love and prosperity".  How can you find anything wrong with that?  I DARE YOU TO TRY.

2.  Tree pose.  Balancing poses in yoga are my kyrptonite and yet I can always count on tree pose to be a real winner.  Steady, easy, natural - it's the one thing I can count on when every other balancing sequence sends me toppling in all directions.

3.  Tiramisu.  Mascarpone cream, chocolate, espresso, ladyfingers... does it get any better than this?  No, no, it does not.

4.  The Raconteurs - namely, their newest album Consolers of the Lonely.  Honestly my favorite album, start to finish, since Radiohead's In Rainbows.  And this is my list, so I can consider "The" as my T-word, NO COMPLAINING.

5.  Travel.  I get super antsy if I am stuck in the same place for any real amount of time.  Even a couple of weeks, and I need a day trip or something.  I love the adventure, I love airports (even after being stuck in way too many of them for way too long), I love watching other people and wondering where they're going and what their stories are, and I love finding myself in a completely different place.  It kind of gives you a fresh start every time.

6.  Texting.  I confess, I am one of those people you probably hate.  Unless you're like me, in which case you would LOVE to be my phone buddy.  I have gotten to the point where, unless a seriously complicated conversation needs to occur, I almost won't ANSWER the phone, preferring rather to send a quick text after the missed call: "yeah, what's up?".  I just can't stand all the small talk, and if all the person needs is to say "I'm running 15 minutes late, meet me then?" then I certainly don't need to spend 5 minutes on the phone discussing THAT.  Ooh, I almost hate myself for being such a snot.

7.  Turtlenecks.  And turtleneck sweaters, especially.  There's something about being bundled up in a cozy, oversized turtleneck sweater that I just can't beat.  However, I know not everyone feels this way; I had a boyfriend for a long time who HATED turtlenecks in all forms, and when I had to give him some particularly bad news one day, I dressed in the biggest turtleneck I could find.  My best friend had dubbed it the "Queen Mother of all turtlenecks", and I guess our reasoning was that the less appealing he found me, the easier the news would go over?  I dunno.  Remember that, Amy?

8.  Tequila.  You know how sometimes when you have a really bad experience with a particular type of liquor it makes you want to swear off it forever?  Yeah, I had that experience with tequila, a few Mardi Gras ago, and I think it only drew us closer.  Tequila + Elise 4EVA.  I have become a bit of a snob as of late thanks to a friend of ours, and a few months ago, I told Cody I would only be drinking Patron.  He said (and I quote): "HA."  And then he bought NOT Patron.  Can you believe him?

9.  Tall people.  I hadn't considered this as something that I LOVE, but to be perfectly honest, I got to 8 and kinda got stuck.  So I started asking around and apparently, I love tall people.  To hear others tell it, I am actually somewhat obsessed with tall people; always going on and on about their incredible height and how impressive I find it.  So, there you go, we both learned something with this list.

10.  Time to myself.  This one is definitely true.  In fact, if I don't get time to myself, I go a little bit crazy.  You know how for some people, being surrounded by friends makes their energy level go up?  Yeah.  That works in the opposite for me.  It wasn't really until college that I figured out the necessity of me being able to get away from everyone, even if it was just for a few hours.  There was more than one Friday night when I told everyone who asked I had plans with someone else and went to hide out in a big, cozy chair in Barnes & Noble with a book and a big cup of tea.  Anti-social?  Perhaps.  Sanity-saving?  Absolutely.

So there you have it, ten things I love that start with T.  Wanna give it a shot?  Like ATW, I promise not to assign you X or Z, unless you're just one of those people who like a challenge.

The Season Of The Witch

I love Christmas, I really do.  I like all the decorations, adore the music, definitely get into the gift-giving spirit - so that's not really my issue.

I'm just in one of those seasons where the store, and all it entails, is really starting to wear on me. 

I honestly believe that EVERYONE, regardless of their job or position in life, goes through these types of seasons, where everything they're doing and all the activities of every day add up to one seemingly pointless total.  And we all look at someone else's life; someone else's job, and think "oh, if ONLY I could be doing that.  That would be SO MUCH BETTER."  And then that person, the one doing THAT, they are looking at you and thinking the same exact thing.

What I'm saying is that I know this is normal (at least it better be), and so I'm not like, rushing out to fire-sale the store or anything.  I am just going through one of those times where every little thing I have to do regarding the store seems like a big, annoying task - and there are a LOT of "big annoying tasks" for the store this time of year.  Even when I have a day off, it never feels like one at all.  I'm either filling out some form (for the store), going to some event (for the store), spending hours trying to book a cheap plane ticket to market (for the store), updating mailing lists and working on a direct mailer (for the store), etc.  You get my drift.  And even when I push all that aside, telling myself it can wait 'til tomorrow, nothing will fall apart overnight (a stress-management technique I had to employ after I spent nearly every waking hour of my first year of ownership AT the store), I have to deal with the phone calls from vendors, telling me that I owe them money.

Yeah, because that's the new and exciting thing that's been happening ever since our economy took a nosedive.  Companies who are hurting just as badly as I am are going through invoices from YEARS back, literally, and calling on them.  Aggressively calling on them.  And the lady who owned the store before I did, when it was a whole different entity, basically - well, apparently she didn't pay some bills.  And now the companies are after their cash, and while I can't blame them, really - I mean I am as desperate as anyone these days - they really don't seem to get the concept of "SHE DOESN'T OWN THIS STORE ANYMORE, AND WE HAVE NEVER HEARD OF YOU".

Not to say that I don't owe anyone money.  Because I do.  Oh, I do.  I am constantly robbing Peter to pay Paul, and sometimes when I get called on an overdue invoice, or something from three years ago that everyone, including me, forgot about until just now - I have to tell them "sorry, I don't got it".  And Internet, let me tell you - I'm not a "sorry, I don't got it" kind of girl.  Well, I WASN'T, anyway.  But it's the truth, and at this point, on a lot of things, the truth is the best I can do. 

Two of the stores in my center went out of business in the past two months.  Things are not getting much better.  And the RIDICULOUSLY SHORT-SIGHTED MEDIA keeps on and on with their doom-and-gloom, predicting that 2009 will be the "weakest economic year in recent history", whatever THAT means (how recent? how weak? what's your definition of weak? oh, to answer all of that wouldn't be NEARLY as sensationalist, would it?).  And the general population, your average Joe who just watches the evening news over dinner, hears the media blathering endlessly about how the economy is falling apart, and he decides that he better pull the purse strings a little tighter.  No more frivolous purchasing!  He's putting his wife on a budget!  And with that, there goes my $200 per month interaction with average Joe's wife.  And if enough average Joe's make that identical decision, well, $200 x 1500 adds up REAL fast.

So when I see a mom pulling her stroller out of the trunk in the middle of the day to kill some time out of the house, I miss the dark circles under her eyes and the look of desperation on her face.  I only see the immense appeal of focusing on ONE task instead of ten million.  Raise your child, keep your house decent.  If you don't have a house-cleaner to do that second one for you, that is.  If your kid has a bad day, no one's gonna lose their job.  You aren't going to file bankruptcy if you can't get potty training down in three months.  And I know - of course that's an unfair comparison - I not only have no idea what all goes into being a stay-at-home mom, I honestly don't even WANT to do it right now - I know it's a super hard job, and when (if) I ever do it, I'm sure I will look back on my store-owner days and think OH MY GOSH, WHAT WAS I COMPLAINING ABOUT?

But maybe I won't. 

And the former scoffing I've done at 9-5 desk jobs, with all their boring monotony and personality-killing sameness - that now looks like blissful regularity, beautiful certainty.  I would go home at 5pm, maybe stop at the grocery store for dinner supplies, and NOT THINK ABOUT MY JOB ANYMORE UNTIL THE NEXT DAY.  Oh, and I'd also be getting a paycheck, which would be awesome.  And I know, I know - I get to have a super flexible schedule and fly to LA all the time, and I'm on like, the MOST INCREDIBLE concert-seeing streak ever - so again, if I was, say, working in a bank or accounting office somewhere, I might be wringing my hands over what I gave up.

But maybe I wouldn't.

The best thing to do when I'm feeling this way seems to be to remember that the store is NOT my life.  So if things at the store aren't going well, I don't need to extrapolate that over my entire life and have this all-consuming cloud of guilt and failure hovering over my every moment.  The store is NOT my life; the store is one aspect of my life, and if I am doing my best at the store, and doing everything I know how to do, then whatever happens, happens.  I have to be okay with that.  And most of the time, truthfully, I am.

But sometimes I'm not.

Thank goodness I'm only 27.

The Seven Year Itch

I get email on my phone now, and maybe that's the problem.  The easy access, the siren call of the flashing red light, the immediate notification - I was drawn in to the cycle without even realizing it.  I don't even have to get online anymore to check Facebook, that amazing time-suck of a social media site.  Yeah, that's right....my phone lets me know of any relevant changes or postings on there as well.  This burgundy piece of equipment is singlehandedly destroying my relationship with the World Wide Web.

Or is that just an excuse?  Is it easier for me to blame the demise of my long-term love affair with all things Internet on this sexy little newcomer in my life?  Or does it run deeper than that?  Perhaps it was inevitable - all good things must come to an end, or so they say.  I don't know if it's similar to the New Car Phenomenon, where you decide you MIGHT be in the market for a new vehicle and then suddenly you seem surrounded, INUNDATED, by new car ads, specials, promotions, enticements...but the few times I have gotten online lately and clicked through to some of my favorite blogs, I have been met with goodbye messages.  So it's not just me, I tell myself.  See, other people are having this issue as well. 

What is it with blogging lately?  I'm just not satisfied anymore.  I don't need you like I used to, blogging.  It's not you, it's me.  Or is it?

Maybe it's that many of the top bloggers out there, the ones I read all those years ago and made this whole endeavor seem so appealing, have turned "corporate" - they write for the money, whether that be product placement posts or merely for the increase in traffic that fuels their ad revenue.  And something about that just hits me as SO disingenuous.  Not that I am against the free market or capitalism or making money with your talents - because I'm all about it.  But mainly because what drew me into blogging in the first place was the rawness of the expression, the naked openness of saying "this is my story, and I want you to know it".  And that theme gets lost rather quickly in all the recipe contests and giveaways and corporate sponsorship of 3-year old birthday parties that I feel like I read about more than anything these days.  As such, I haven't even OPENED my feed reader in probably three weeks.  If I am online with an itch to read blogs, I click through my page to about 4 or 5 different sites, and (imagine this) NONE of them are sponsored by anyone or anything.  In fact, most of then net less than 10 comments per post and seem to be genuinely unconcerned by that fact.  It's refreshing.

So what to do?  I don't really want to stop writing.  I like writing; like the stringing of words together to create coherent thoughts and occasionally funny anecdotes that I would otherwise probably forget.  I enjoy the catharsis of putting swirling emotions in order and organizing them in written form on a page, and then hitting publish and feeling like the whole situation has been solved.  I'm not giving that up.  But what I AM giving up is the pressure to keep up with the Joneses, so to speak.  I'm not going to host recipe contests, or jump around seventeen different social media sites and seventeen HUNDRED blogs just trying to up my traffic or stats.  If I don't post for a week or a month, I'm not going to concern myself with what my readership is doing, or if they're going elsewhere for their fix.  Let's be honest, I obviously haven't concerned myself with that last issue much in the first place, since my last Project Runway recap has been up for over a month at this point.

And you know what?  It's not because I don't love having people who read my blog, and even less because I don't love the individual people who read my blog, because guess what?  I DO love you guys.  I know many of you in real life already, and I have gotten the chance to meet a couple of you that I otherwise knew exclusively online, and there are many of you who (and you know this) I am DYING to meet.  Much like my store, which gives me no end of grief on a regular basis, my favorite part of blogging has got to be the friends I have made through doing it.  And so there's another reason to continue, because I'll never believe that I've met all the amazing people there are to meet in this world. 

So what's my point, you ask?  Well, maybe there isn't one.  Maybe this is one of those cathartic posts, and now that I've expressed to blogging how I'm falling out of love with it, we can get back on track.  Or maybe blogging has changed, and we do need to break up.  But since I'm still writing, and you're still reading, it looks like we're still on.  Maybe all I wanted to say is that 2008 has been one of the weirdest years of my life; in some ways one of the best and in some ways one of the very worst.  And yet, even though this year has been absolutely packed full of experiences and changes, my blog reflects almost none of that.  I am tired of not getting to tell the stories I want to tell on here because I am constantly afraid of who I'll inadvertently offend with MY story, with MY life.  And maybe I'm not going to be afraid of that so much anymore. 

So maybe this isn't a breakup, blogging.  But I gotta tell you - things have got to change a bit for this to work out for us.  You have to be a little less commercialized and popularity-contesty, and I am going to be a little less scared of offending those few people out there with something I say that has nothing to do with them.  I mean let's be honest, they were going to be offended by SOMETHING, anyway.  Might as well be me :)

Also, Lydah wanted to say hello.  She says that if she doesn't care about laying in a dirty fire pit, then everyone can just get over...well, just about everything.  She also wants to add that her ears are just perfect, aren't they?  And also that she would very much like to go camping again, and if any of you can make that happen, please drop her a line at TheGorgeousLydah@gmail.com.  Yeah, she really is THAT conceited.

Project Runway Season 5 Finale: Maybe I Should Have Had A Better Attitude

Okay, Project Runway finale time!  Yay!  Get excited.  We open up with a reminder look at who was Auf’d last – Jerell.  Sad, but true.  So, as you know, that leaves us with Korto, Leanne, and the detestable Kenley. 

Yeah, I know.  Don’t think the fact that Kenley’s managed to hang around isn’t part of the reason I missed a couple of recaps.  It’s frustrating to keep writing about the success of someone that ridiculously rude.

Anyway, it’s an all girl finale, and as Tim addresses the final three in the workroom, they look extremely excited, if not exhausted.  Leanne in particular seems super sleepy; but I can’t even begin to imagine what a rollercoaster being on a show like PR would be, so I’m giving her a pass.  A pass, and a soothing sleep mask.  And maybe some under-eye cream.

Tim lets the designers know that although they have made twelve looks for Bryant Park, they will only be showing ten.  Meaning they need to get rid of two.  Unsurprisingly, Kenley, with her astonishing lack of self-awareness, decides that not only will she not get rid of the wedding dress she was called out for (negatively) last week, but also she will SHOW IT AS HER FINAL LOOK.  Wow, Kenley, brilliant.  Tim thinks so too, and he tries (futilely) to convince her that PERHAPS this is not a good idea.  Kenley says she doesn’t care what the eff anyone thinks, she is gonna do what she wants.  Ahh, that’s refreshing, Kenley.

Korto and Leanne give us a brief peek at their collections, and are pleasant and normal to deal with.  Tim gives advice, and they seem to take it.  How hard is that?

Oh and wait, Kenley has changed her mind - although she will still show the notorious wedding dress at Bryant Park, she has decided to make her final look something different.  Tim looks relieved.  Kenley looks smug.  She’s SO proud of herself for making this decision; it’s like she somehow has found a way to take all the credit for A) following Tim’s advice and B) changing her plans accordingly.  Gross.

Not feeling confident with several of her outfits, Korto has decided to make two more for the show.  From scratch.  Like, right now.  That’s good, because otherwise I don’t know how she’d fill her time.   I mean she does have something like 36 hours before the show.

So, it’s one day before the shows at Bryant Park, and the girls are back finishing hemlines, doing final fittings, or, in Korto’s case, sewing entirely new dresses.  Tim comes in and tells them the lineup for the show; it’s gonna be Kenley, Korto, and then Leanne.  Next, Tim does what he does best, and it’s the reason he is so beloved by…well, everyone, really.  He congratulates the three final designers, tells them how proud he is of them, how amazing the experience is going to be, and really brings the designers back to the main point of what they’ve been working so hard for.  I really appreciate someone who can take you back into the true spirit of things, because I can only imagine how easy it would be to lose the HUGENESS of showing a collection at Bryant Park in stress over silly (meaningful, but still) details.  Good ‘ol Tim, he really is the best.

Morning of the show, the designers are up at some horrifically early hour, and they make their way to the tents.  Of course by now, the tent the Project Runway stars show in is one of the biggest and best, and it looks accordingly amazing.  As the designers are led to their respective prep areas, the models start filtering in (literally, some of them look like the Kate Moss character from Family Guy, if they turn sideways they disappear) and the hair and makeup pros get to work.  There are a few minor mishaps (Kenley is being a control freak and won’t let anyone help her, one of Leanne’s dresses somehow magically got way too big for her model) but overall, the process appears to be moving along smoothly.  Ooh, and I think we get an accidental boob shot.  Model boob, so basically no boob, but hey.  For the heterosexual males that make up 3% of Project Runway’s audience, that might have made it all worthwhile.

And it’s time for the show!  Out comes Heidi, in a VERY demure black dress (below-the-knee AND long sleeved, wow) and announces that although they WERE going to have Jennifa Yopez as the guest judge (alongside Nina Garcia and Michael Kors), poor Ms. Yopez has sustained a foot injury (yeah, that would be tough to SIT and WATCH OTHER PEOPLE WALK with that type of injury) and so she won’t be there.  However!  The replacement guest judge is none other than Tim Gunn, and if I wasn’t happy about that already (I like Tim waaaay more than Jenny from the Block), I would be absolutely thrilled because when Kenley hears the news, she FINALLY seems to get it.  “Maybe I should have had a better attitude,” she says.  YA THINK?

Tim, however, is as classy as can be as he addresses the crowd eloquently, promises to be unbiased and impartial, and says he is honored to be a judge for such an event.  Awesome.

As we know, Kenley is up first, and I will VERY GRUDGINGLY admit that to start, her collection looks pretty good.  Lots of great colors, different silhouettes, and everything looks well made.  Well, until she sends out the beige dress with the painted flower trail.  That looks like home economics 101.  And then Michael Kors (who is, inexplicably, wearing his sunglasses inside the dark tent) does a double take when one of Kenley’s signature garish floral prints comes down the runway.  I can only hope his second look means bad things for Kenley, but I think it might just be because he’s inside.  And it’s dark.  And he’s wearing sunglasses.

In between takes, we get glimpses of the Auf’d designers in the audience, watching and cheering along.  Blayne looks sufficiently orange again, and Stella actually looks kind of pretty.  Granted, I still haven’t seen what she’s wearing (could it be the stripey leggings of doom?) but at least her makeup looks nicely done.

Korto’s next and can I just say - wow.  Her collection is great.  There are several dresses in there I would absolutely take and put in my closet right this instant.  She also makes heavy use of the color green, which I am extremely partial to, and as always, her construction looks impeccable.  The necklines and back enclosures of the dresses are really uniquely made, with a lot of embellishment, creative composition, and intricate beading.  Korto should be thrilled with her collection, and her husband and daughter look like they could not possibly be prouder of her.

And finally it’s Leanne’s turn, and I don’t know if it’s my imagination or not, but she seems to come out to a LOT more applause than the other two.  Perhaps she is not only my favorite?  Okay, and now that I’ve seen her entire collection (I truly am writing as I watch), I have to say this:  I’m not sure how well this will play for Leanne as far as judging goes, because both Kenley and Korto had quite a bit more diversity in their line.  But Leanne is the only one of the three designers who, I think, really shows her point of view.  Almost every skirt Leanne showed has the same basic treatment; those petal-like layers that move and flow so gracefully are in every piece she sent down the runway.  Also, her color palette was used in a totally different way than the other two designers – both Kenley and Korto made good use of many different colors, and that made their collections bright and interesting.  Leanne, on the other hand, stuck to the same three basic colors (white, tan, and soft turquoise) and used those colors in different parts of each outfit to make the particular piece stand out the way she imagined it would.  As I mentioned, I don’t know how this will go over with the judges, but as far as true fashion goes, Leanne did the best job of interpreting her design aesthetic in a runway show format.  And therefore, even though as far as separate pieces go I like many from Korto’s line the best, I think Leanne should win the overall prize.

Judging time, and Michael Kors has seen fit to remove his eyewear.  Thanks for that, Michael.  The judges bring the designers and their main models back on the runway to discuss.  Kenley goes first, and basically all four judges liked her show very much, thought it had a lot of “spirit” (whatever that means) and generally thought she did a great job.  Their only complaint is that Kenley continues to rip off Balenciaga (among other designers) and does it under the guise of “I don’t look at other collections”.  Be that as it may, Nina says, you MUST know what is going on in the world of fashion, because even if you don’t, and you genuinely think you’re sending out something one-of-a-kind, the fashion editors who are watching your show you DO look at other collections, and will write you off as a copycat.  Kenley rolls her eyes but concedes the point.

The judges turn to Korto next, and all agree that her use of color is extraordinary.  Nina says the collection looks effortlessly cohesive, and the dress Korto chose for her final model was a favorite amongst all judges.  The only real complaint anyone comes up with is that some of Korto’s pieces look “overworked”, and while I have personally seen garments that I feel have that quality, Korto’s never strike me that way.  Regardless, the praise is overwhelming, and Korto looks happy.

As I feared, the judges are concerned that Leanne’s petal-layering collection might be too “one note”.  Michael Kors doesn’t want her to be known as Petals Marshall, because, he says, that sounds more like a stripper, dontcha think?  However, the judges do think Leanne’s workmanship was nearly perfect, and they appreciate that she showed shorts, pants, skirts, jackets, and a long dress.  One note, eh?  I think not.

Next the judges ask the designers why they should be the winner of Project Runway.  Kenley cries her way through her answer (I’m very passionate, I have it in me), Korto also tears up (it’s what I’m meant to do, showing at Bryant Park made me realize even more), and Leanne answers, somewhat stoically, that she knows she can take it to the next level and also that she feels she’s somewhat cutting-edge as half her collection was made out of sustainable materials.  She’s all business, this one.

The designers are sent backstage while the judges do their final roundtable discussion.  Hard as I may try, I am not gleaning any information from their dialogue that leads me to believe one designer is faring better than the other two.  This one is down to the wire, I think.

Kenley:  

Korto:    

Leanne: 

Final decision time, and they’re not wasting a second.  Heidi immediately (and do I sense a HINT of comeuppance in her voice?) tells Kenley that she’s out.  Kenley looks extremely unhappy, and I’m honestly surprised she didn’t do any backtalking.  I think she’s going backstage to collapse; I’ve never seen a better personification of a balloon deflating.  I also hate to say I Told You So, but…well, I don’t hate to say it at all.  Acting like a giant brat generally isn’t going to garner you much favor.  I hope Kenley’s learned that lesson, but if we’re to believe her exit interview (this is all BS, she says) she probably hasn’t.  So now we’re down to Leanne or Korto.

Winner: Leanne!  Yay!  I mean, I’m sad for Korto, I really am.  I think the decision between those two would have been almost impossible to make.  Korto, as the judges mentioned, has an amazing talent of knowing how to dress women of all sizes in flattering silhouettes, and Korto’s use of color is probably the best I’ve seen.  Leanne does appear to have more potential as a businesswoman, and maybe, given the relatively low success level of some of the past PR winners, the judges are trying to emphasize this quality.  But when it comes down to it, Leanne truly did the best job of translating her unique point of view into fashion.  And isn’t that what it’s all about?

As my final note, I’d like to thank everyone for sticking around through the somewhat-bigger-than-expected task of recapping Project Runway.  I hope you enjoyed the show, first and foremost, especially since it almost certainly is now over as we know it (Bravo! Why did you let it go?), and I hope you didn’t find the analysis too tedious.  At any rate, I’ve enjoyed writing the recaps, I’ve REALLY enjoyed reading your comments, and it’s kind of bittersweet that it’s all over.  Over, that is, until Stella and/or Blayne shows up on their own Bravo-sponsored reality show.  Personally, I’m voting for some kind of relationship clinic with Stella and Ratbones.  If that happens, you can better believe we’re gonna talk about it.

If All Vampires Are Seducers, And I Am A Vampire, Then Resistance Would Be Futile

However, I am NOT a vampire.  So that takes care of one aspect of the dilemma.  The other aspect is whether or not you believe that all vampires really ARE seducers, and I think all you have to do is look at the wild success of vampire books and movies to see that I'm right about the seduction aspect. 

I'm not sure how they did it, but somehow vampires have made pale skin, gaunt cheekbones, blood-dripping fangs, and immortality sexy.  Congratulations, O' Undead Ones.  That's quite a feat.

Now that we've got all that straightened out, the next order of business is to say I'm sorry for going completely AWOL for the past couple of weeks.  I mean, I'd love to tell you it's because I was swept away (maybe by a vampire?) to a secret island, where I was served hand and foot and engaged in all sorts of glamorous activities.  Or maybe even that I just decided to take some time off from all my responsibilities, read some good books, take some naps...

But no. 

The truth is (and this sums it up quickly for those of you who think brevity is a virtue), bad economy = Elise The Retail Business Owner working her tail off, trying everything she can think of to get things back on track. 

Not very interesting, eh?  I told you.

It's just disconcerting, is all, to have the proverbial rug pulled out from under you like this.  I don't mean you, the reader - I doubt that my posting frequency (or lack thereof) has the ability to leave anyone feeling unsettled.  I mean that as a business owner, especially in the retail sector of things, this "economic crisis" is hitting pretty close to home.

I'm sure many of you have seen the front page stories in the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal today -  but if you haven't, they are telling the same tale I've been telling all summer.  Retail sales are down.  Down more than they have been in a long while.  No one is happy about it.  No one knows exactly what the problem is (other than the ridiculous sub-prime lending/credit crunch situation we all know about).  Everyone thinks things will get better.  In fact, things are getting better!  Yay!

And on we go.

Except really, what I just said up there is the truth of the matter but I fear that the media, with its insatiable thirst for blood, will only focus on the "doom" and will totally ignore the "light at the end of the tunnel" aspect of things.  And that, my dear friends, only makes everything WORSE.  The more the average American THINKS things are bad, the more tight-fisted they'll be with their money, and that means they aren't spending it with me or anyone else.  So stores go out of business and put more employees out of work, who in turn have to be even stingier with their cash, because they really don't know when they'll get more.  And the cycle continues.  However!  Much of the current cycle, especially in high-end areas like the one in which my store does business, is based on somewhat REACTIONARY principles, otherwise known as FREAKING OUT FOR NO GOOD REASON.

So. Stop freaking out, America!  Yes, we got ourselves into a bit of a situation with the sub-prime lending and the massive credit crisis and yes, some of us overextended ourselves and are now paying the price.  And yes, some of us DIDN'T overextend ourselves, we did everything by the book and we STILL feel like we're paying the price.  Well, we are.  But it's going to be okay.  Things will equalize, and whether that means when we come out on the other end of the tunnel things look like our current version of "normal" or if they are a totally new "normal", we can adjust.   Okay?  Okay.

Now!  Guess who I met.

That's right, I got to eat dinner (well, I was the only one eating) and get drinks (was NOT the only one drinking) with none other than Julie!  And even though she texted me, wondering if there were ANY crosswalks or pedestrian-friendly areas near where she was staying (no, there were not) and even though she had to WALK to where we met up (aah! still feel bad about that, Julie!), we had a great time nonetheless.  And I feel pretty confident in saying that Julie got a real solid taste of Texas boys trying to hit on her.

We ended up telling everyone we were on our first date, which, technically, was true.  And, if you'll reference the picture above, I CLEARLY made it up to the hotel room and if that doesn't give you any indication of how things went, well.... Maybe you haven't had very good first dates.

I also did this:

 By myself.  Which shows how much I really love this band, because I wasn't quite sure how I felt about going to a concert by myself.  I mean, is that awesome, or total loserville?  It's a tough call.  Luckily, I got to meet up with these two (getting married in two weeks!) before the show:

We laughed, we drank wine, we discussed politics....and then we tried our hand at governing an errant bee situation.  We roundtabled about what might be the best angle to take with the bees - were they friend or foe?  It was hard to tell.  They were definitely after our bread, so Adam decided that perhaps some peace treaties should be attempted, and he put a piece of Peace (I know, I know) Bread down at one end of the table for the bees to have.  See, they can have their stuff, we have our stuff, and we all live in harmony.  It's a great concept.  Unfortunately (and similarly to how these things go in real life), the bee was discontent with his small slice of bread, kept angling for the whole loaf, and eventually - he had to die. 

I know, it's harsh.  But you may as well know the truth.

Let's see, what else....I've gotta tell you, I've spent the vast majority of the past month or so in near-constant state of feeling flustered.  And that makes it hard to do anything, much less think coherently for long enough to bang out a post.  But I'm nothing if not resourceful, and I'm dealing with it, so you can expect posting to resume as originally scheduled.  Meaning that after the Project Runway season finale tonight (which I WILL recap on Friday), I will go back to my once or twice-weekly posting schedule, and (more importantly) I promise that I cannot wait to read and comment on everything that I've missed while I've been on this strange hiatus.  I can't promise that I won't hit the "mark all read" button in my feeder, because right now it's hovering near the 2000 mark, but after that, I'm back on track.

And after my first real life date with a previously Internet-only friend went SO well, I can't wait to meet more of you guys.  I know I'm all the way down here in Texas (and don't ask Julie how the rest of her visit went) but if you're EVER sent down here for any reason, I promise to make the whole experience just a little more fun.  And I'll even pick you up, so you don't have to search in vain for crosswalks.  I also won't force feed you tequila, ESPECIALLY if you claim to be allergic.